𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐃 | ✎

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟏

Ceilings - Lizzy McAlpine.

It's the night before the wedding.

August 23, the date I'm going to be wed.

Should I be excited? Perhaps.

But I can't help but feel anxious.

What if he decides he doesn't want to marry me last minute? What if I don't live up to his expectations? What if his family doesn't like me?

I don't even know my plan after I get him and Eva, together. Do I marry someone else?

Of course, all these thoughts occur to me the night before.

My mind's my biggest enemy.

Maybe I'll pull an all-nighter. Mentally prepare myself, so I don't freak out last minute.

It's already 2:00 am, I think I'll just stay up for a few hours.

I have to get up at 8:00 am, since my sister's doing my hair and makeup, I have to go to her house.

Then the wedding starts at 5:15 pm, then the wedding reception following at 9:00 pm.

It's a hectic day for sure, but weddings are supposed to be chaotic and fun.

But I doubt it will be fun.

I can't help but falter back to my, 'what if's'.

What if I actually found someone that I liked? What if I genuinely wanted to marry the person I was supposed to be marrying.

I don't even know how to keep relationships. I've only ever been in one, which lasted two fucking weeks.

I don't know how to be romantic with someone.

How does one open themselves up emotionally to a person. I'm scared of attachment, and commitment.

I know this marriage has an end to it, which makes me even more scared to open up to Alessio.

But a part of me feels safe with him?

I don't know how to explain it. It just feels like, if I did open up to him, he would understand me.

But I don't think he would reciprocate it. After Eva, I doubt he would want to open up to someone. Especially, me.

I lay on my back, my gaze fixated on the ceiling, hoping it magically gives me the answers to all my questions, to put me at ease.

My phone buzzes from my nightstand.

Future Baby Daddy:
Happy wedding day.

What is he doing up, this late?

I wait for a few minutes, debating whether or not I should respond.

I give in.

Me:
What are you doing up this late?