MENDED

fourteen

saylor

as soon as alex's surgeon cleared it, alex begged laura to schedule us a show to play in new york. laura was able to book us a venue in only a handful of days. since the band took a sudden break for an "undefined amount of time," the show sold out within just a few hours of us announcing it.

it felt really crazy to see it sell out so quickly.

the show wasn't until a week after laura told us that she booked the venue. since then, alex has been really excited to get back into the swing of things. during their recovery, they didn't really get to play their guitar, so they've especially been yearning to play it and perform now that they can.

right now, me and alex are in their apartment. we're both in the living room, and have been for quite a while now, but we haven't done much talking. we only haven't talked because we're both doing our own thing.

i love that we can be alone like this, without talking and just doing different things... it feels so safe.

while i've been on my phone, scrolling through instagram and looking at fan posts, alex has been playing their guitar.

i looked over at alex. like they seem to be a majority of the time since their surgery, they were shirtless. they were sat crisscrossed in front of their amp, with their guitar in their lap.

it's still decently chilly out, so i don't see how they can stand to be shirtless, but at the same time, i can only imagine how euphoric it must be for them to actually be able to be shirtless like this. i remember when miguel had his top surgery, he was almost constantly shirtless as well.

of course, i'm not gonna complain. it makes me happy to see them so happy and comfortable. that, and they look great, so...

i continued to watch them. they were playing spongebob squarepants' closing theme, which made me let out a quiet laugh. they played that through completely before they then played the nokia ringtone. after, they started to play the opening chords for kiwi.

they glanced up at me, and i could see their face flush as they realized that i had been watching them. they gave a shy smile. when i gave one back, they continued to play their guitar. i went back to looking through instagram.

for the next while, we continued on like this. at some point, alex put their guitar away, and they walked off to their bedroom. i glanced at them as they did, but didn't say anything as i turned my attention back to my phone.

after quite a bit though, alex hadn't returned from their room. i had grown curious, so i walked to their room to see why they hadn't left it.

when i walked into their room, i saw that they were standing in front of their full body mirror. i then noticed that they were wearing the black, translucent button up shirt that they had thrifted back in boston. they had the top two buttons undone to slightly expose their chest.

they met my eyes through the mirror, and they pursed their lips. they turned towards me, and i walked towards them as they spoke. "i'm trying to decide if i wanna wear this for the show tomorrow night..." they trailed off uncertainly.

once i reached them, i placed my hands on their hips as i looked up at them. they swallowed nervously. "yeah?" i asked softly. "if you want to, i think you should. you look so handsome, lovey."

their cheeks flushed. "thank you," they murmured. they paused. "i just don't know, since the fans and the media don't know that i've had top surgery yet."

i frowned as i thought over their words. "and you're nervous of how they'll react...?" i guessed quietly as i held eye contact.

they didn't answer as they looked away. they took a step back, and they paced the room. they ran their hand through their hair. "i feel so stupid for worrying about what they'll think."