Remember

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Charlie's POV:

Beth walked us towards reception where we were met with a bunch of the team waiting to go on the team walk. Beth stood chatting to Lotte, while I stayed on her back. I looked around and spotted Leah talking to Mary and Hannah. I decided I should apologise to Leah for running away from her. I tapped Beth to tell her I wanted to get down. She let me down gently and have my shoulders a squeeze, I quickly motion to her that I'm going over to Leah and she nods and nudged me over.

I slowly make my way over to Leah and then stand next to her leaning into her and wrapping my arms around my waist, letting her continue her conversation with Mary and Hannah. She wraps one arm around my shoulders and strokes her thumb on my arm. Once everyone has arrived, we head out for our walk. 

I walk beside Leah, trying to pluck up the courage to apologise. "Leah ?", I ask looking up at her,  "yeah ?", she replies back still not looking at me.  "I'm really sorry for running away from you this morning", I say.  She looks down at me and says "did I do something to upset you ?".  "No, it wasn't your fault, well all the questions you were asking weren't helping but I know you didn't mean to upset me", I reply.  Leah stops walking and turns to look at me, she then crouches down so that I then have to look at her, "I was worried this morning because you were so quiet, I didn't mean to upset you and if you ever need to talk to me about anything, please do, because I love you so much", Leah tells me.  I nod and wrap my arms around her neck,  she instantly stands back up with me in her arms and hugs me tightly.  "I love you Le", I mutter into her neck.  She keeps me in her arms as we catch up to the team. 

Once we've caught up I see Mum and Keira walking with Ellie in Keira's arms just ahead of us.  I nudge Leah and she looks up at me, "I need to talk to Mum and Keira", Leah doesn't say anything and just lets me down.  I quickly catch up with Mum and Keira and slip in between them, grabbing Mum's hand and squeezing it.  Mum and Keira both look down at me and Mum holds tight onto my hand.  "I'm sorry for running away this morning and I'm sorry for worrying you",  I say looking between them both.  Mum nods her head and squeezes my hand again, and Keira ruffles my hair and gives me a smile and says "as long as you're ok".  I smile and then look over at Ellie who is cuddled into Keira's chest with a dummy in her mouth, holding onto a stuffed lion 🦁 tightly in her hand.  "Is Ellie ok ?", I ask looking over at her.  Keira looks down at Ellie and then looks at me and answers "she had a bad dream last night, so she's a little bit upset",  I just nod and then look over at my baby sister and pull a funny face, she half smiles, so I continue until I get her cute baby smile and she seems happier.

Once we're back at SGP, we head straight to Stadion Letzigrund.  During pitch inspection Keira always walks around with Ellie, while Mum just walks around with her headphones on listening to music.  I usually just hang with G.  I remember when I was younger, before Ellie was born,  I would get a piggy back around the pitch with Mum, sometimes Keira,  but I guess seen as I'm older now, and Ellie is only small, it's not a tradition that was continued. 

Once pitch inspection is finished we head into the changing room.  I walk over to Mum who isnt getting changed.  I frown and look at her.  "Why aren't you getting changed ?", I ask her.  She looks at me and then simply replies "I'm not playing todays game", as if it was normal for her not to be playing.  I look at her bewildered "why not ?", I ask still kinda shocked,  because ever since I can remember Mum has always tried to play every game she could no matter what.  " I wanted to watch the game with you and Ellie today, and now you don't have to sit with a staff member, you'll both be sitting with me and we can cheer for everyone", Mum says smiling, but it feels like she's not telling the whole truth.  Before I can reply, Keira walks over with Ellie squirming in her arms.  Once Ellie spots Mum she immediately reaches over to her,  Mum takes her and bounces her on her knee,  making her laugh.  I remember when I was younger and I used to race into the changing and Mum always bounced me on her knee, before warm-ups or after the game, to keep me smiling, not that that wasn't hard because I was constantly surrounded by people who loved me, whether that be my family, Mum's teammates, or friends.  But Mum was always the one to make me smile the brightest, so now I always enjoy watching Mum interact with Ellie because it reminds me of when I was younger.  

I quickly put on my Scott 16 jersey and shoved my hoodie on before anyone could spot who's jersey I had.  It had become a guessing game who's jersey me and Ellie would sport to every game,  and all the girls would try to convince us to wear their jerseys but today I wore Jill's.  I quickly nudged Mum to tell her we had to put Ellie's jersey on.  I showed Mum who's jersey it was and she smiled.  I positioned myself in front of Mum so no one could see that Mum was putting a Greenwood 5 jersey on Ellie.  When I turned around Ellie had a hoodie on and was playing with Mums fingers. 

Everyone started heading out to the pitch, so Mum handed Ellie to Keira and I walked beside Mum.  We were sitting on the subs bench, even though Mum wasn't playing, it seemed as though she had sorted for us to be sat there.  I sat down, but not before wishing Keira good luck and hugging her quickly.  Then Keira gave Ellie a hug and kiss before handing her over to Mum and Mum wished her good luck and did their pre-game ritual, before she raced off to warm up.  Mum sat down with Ellie in her arms and looked over at me and then put my backpack on the ground between our seats.  I looked in and spotted some snacks.  I started looking through the snacks and Ellie must have heard me because she then wanted to see.  "Mumma, want anana ?", Ellie looks up at Mum and pointing to the banana in the bag.  "Thanks Charlie", Mum replies back, "I was trying to keep them hidden as long as possible".  "Oh well", I reply back grinning.  Mum grabs the banana out of the bag and peels it for Ellie, she then breaks some of it off and hands it to Ellie who grabs it and starts eating it.  While Ellie eats her banana, me and Mum talk about the game and then I turn to Mum and say "Muuum ?", Mum looks at me with an eyebrow raised and says "what do you want ?",  I giggle, because she can always tell when I want something.  "At the end of the game, do you think you could get one of the Swiss players jersey for me ?", I ask, producing the puppy eyes. Mum thinks about it before answering me just as the players start to head back into the changing room saying "I don't Charlie, I'm not playing but maybe Keira will, if you ask her nicely after the game". I nod and settle into my seat, ready for the game to begin.

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