"the moth's apprentice" chat noir x y/n

Insanity

When darkness fell, so did my hopes. They dropped like a weight, landing over the side of the building, precisely where Chat Blanc was pacing back and forth like a madman. He kept muttering to himself. I could hear him, his inaudible tones full of anger. 

It was strange, and terrible. Being in this city — this city of ruins — that he used to love. All that love, replaced by hate and insanity. 

Chat Blanc was insane. He was a shell of a being, built off of Adrien Agreste's fears and trauma. The thing pacing on the ruined city was not Chat Noir, nor was he Adrien. But I knew that one day he would come back to me. 

One day, I would bring him back. And then I would never lose him again. I made a promise to myself that night as I fed Vector with what little food I had managed to scavenge.

As I stared up at the white moon, I repeated the promise in my head. I vowed to save Adrien, at whatever cost. He was so much better than me. Filled with good, and promise. I was doomed, I knew that for sure. But he didn't deserve this. He deserve so much more than me— a ruined person, and this place — a destroyed city. Fragmented and torn up — an echo of the vibrant utopia it used to stand for. 

Sleep didn't come quickly, but after shivering for hours, my eyes closed. The last thing I saw before I drifted off was the stars and the moon, twinkling mockingly in the distance. 

Beautiful things always mock me. 

When I woke up, there was a blanket over top me. It was warm and fuzzy, but I had no idea where it came from. I sat up slowly, glancing at Vector, who was curled up on the blanket beside me. He hadn't stirred since nightfall, and I was starting to worry about the Kwami's state. 

Chat Blanc appeared suddenly. His ears poked up from behind the side of the building. Than his eyes, which were still a startling blue. They were like ice — like the surface of an ocean. I missed his warm green. 

The expression he used to make when he saw me. 

"She wakes," he crowed, hopping over the ledge and kneeling in front of me. The way he watched me was not unlike how a predator would survey their prey, but he was surprisingly calm. 

I sat up, curling the blanket around me. "Did you do this?" I was grateful for the warmth.

"Do what?" He cocked his head to the side like a cat would, listening to birds. 

"Nevermind." I sighed. "What do you want, not-Adrien?" I smirked to myself at my own joke. 

Chat Blanc ignored the dig. "I want you," he crawled over, and suddenly, the heat from the blanket was unnecessary. Chat's expression was woeful as he rolled on the ground, paws up in the air. "I'm so lonely..." he whined. "The night is long. The sun is blinding." 

Now he was talking in riddles. 

"You scare me, you know that?" I stood up, staring down at the wreck. "Yesterday, you hated me." 

"I still hate you," he stared up at me, eyes bright and mischievous. "I hate everything. I hate everything, I love nothing. But in this fucking place, who's to say what nothing and everything is?  It's all the same." He gestured down at the wreckage. "Look around, darling. Everyone is fucking dead. Why should it matter if I hate or love you?" 

"You're right," I said blankly. "I mean, who says that love or hate even exists? Maybe this is all a dream and you're actually a dog." 

Chat Blanc narrowed his eyes. "You're getting the hang of it now, Birdy." He wove closer to me, pulling me down onto his lap. "Sit with me." 

"With you," I scoffed. "Is being alone in the universe making you horny all of a sudden? I didn't know akumatized villains could be horny." 

Chat Blanc, being the brilliant and thoughtless—mindless—being he was, didn't respond. He breathed heavily, closing his eyes. I shifted my hips slightly and his mouth parted, head drooping forward. 

"Imagine if it had all worked out," I said softly, stroking his hair. "Imagine a world where you weren't akumatized...but it was still the two of us." 

Chat Blanc's eyes opened. "You and me against the world, Birdy." He looked at me curiously and for a second I let my mind run away from me, and imagined that his suit was black not white. His eyes were green, not blue. And his eyes—the mirror into his soul, wasn't so goddamn empty. 

As quickly as this reflection came to him, he pushed it away — pushed me away. 

He knocked me backwards as he stood up, leaping off into the abyss. 

I pulled Vector out of my pocket, where he fluttered weakly in the air. "Can we get some food now?" 

"Sure," I answered, despondently, still thinking about Chat. "Sorry, I'll get some right away..." I swore under my breath, looking around at everything. There was slim chance of finding like...croissants on the ground. 

I hopped down from the building, using broken bricks as footholds. I carried the blanket with me, tucked tightly under my arm. I was going to need it eventually. 

There was one building that wasn't completely shattered, and it happened to be the library. At least it would be a sheltered place. There used to be a small cafe beside the library, and I managed to scavenge some stale chips for Vector and a glass of water for myself. Even though the river had flooded everywhere, it wasn't guaranteed to be safe water. 

I huddled in the library, leaning against the bookcase as a headrest. 

"It's quiet," I said to myself. Vector had flown off somewhere to find more food. I wouldn't be transforming anytime soon anyways. "It's too quiet." 

"I like the quiet." 

It seemed like Chat Blanc appeared whenever I'd finally found some peace. He was like an itch I couldn't scratch. Like a mosquito. However much I wanted to love him, I didn't think I could love this version of him. It was so empty. So defeated. Yet, the sparks that Chat Noir carried with him everywhere were still present in Chat Blanc. They were just covered and infected in madness. 

"Of course you like the quiet," I muttered, pulling out a book and pretending to read it. 

Chat Blanc crouched on all fours, hopping towards me. He leaned forward, reading the book upside down. Wisps of blonde hair fell in my face. 

When he looked up, he was much too close. I could see every absence of emotion in his face. 

"Fuck off," I looked away. 

Chat Blanc pulled my chin back, pushing the book down. "It doesn't have to be like this." He said, so quietly, and so reminiscent of Adrien that I wanted to listen. And then he jumped back, springing around the abandoned building. "You know — we could play a game. We could pretend that everything is normal, go to school, be in love, dance around like little birdies and mice, just you and meeee—" 

"Get out," I demanded. "Agreste—get out." 

Chat Blanc stuck his tongue out at me. "You suck ass, Y/N." 

I stuck my middle finger up. "Get the fuck out." 

A tiny hint of sadness crossed his face, but it was swept away before I even had a chance to respond, or feel anything about it. Chat Blanc bowed ridiculously low. "As you wish, darling." He began to back out, but with his hand resting on the doorframe he added. "...glad you liked my little gift.." 

He gestured to the blanket beside me. "I could give you so much more.." he winked, leaving me alone with my hideous thoughts.