𝑂𝑛𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔...
❝Your wife is calling. I think you need to take it, or better, you ought to leave.❞ She folded her arms, a series of goosebumps simmering over her warm ivory skin the more my intimidating strides brought me closer to her.
My sapphi...
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ღ𝓘𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓱𝔂𝓲𝓪'𝓼 𝓟𝓞𝓥ღ
Grief has no time frame.
For some, it took a couple of months to get over it. For others, it took years. People were different.
It had been very hard for me. Becoming a mom had been my biggest dream, and when I finally got the chance, it was snatched away from me.
Just like that.
Selfish people were everywhere, and I guess karma was a bitch. I took someone's husband and as a result, she took the one thing I had wanted with my entire life.
I hated her. Actually, that was an understatement. I hoped she'd burn in hell for what she did to me.
At first, I thought the doctor was wrong. I didn't believe him and always hoped that the baby was secretly still alive. But when I secretly went for an ultrasound despite the doctor telling me they cleaned my womb, my gynaecologist finally confirmed my greatest fear.
The baby was really gone. There was nothing.
I cried everyday. I hardly ate unless Celine, Izaiah and the boys or Havier were around to monitor me. Everytime I unconsciously touched my stomach or talked to the non-existent baby, I broke down for the rest of the day.
For the first month, I isolated myself. I felt angry at the universe, I felt angry at everything and so alone. So lost and abandoned.
I had lost a part of myself and I couldn't stop replying the tragic scene over and over until it hurt so much, I could hardly breathe.
I had to process the miscarriage partly on my own. Havier was persistent, though. I once lashed out at him out of frustration and just when I thought he had left, I found him sleeping on the hammock outside.
"I don't want anything to happen to you. I'm here to be your protection, even if you don't want me here." Was what he said with dark circles around his eyes and a tired, affectionate smile.
That's when I realised that Havier was my actual soulmate. We were going through the roughest phase of our relationship and he was helping me through the entire process.
He didn't openly grieve. Instead, like every other male, he buried himself in work to distract himself. It didn't hit him as hard as it had me, but he was still grieving nonetheless.
Men usually connect to the baby when they see things like the ultrasound, the movements in the womb and even when the baby is born.
And I could tell that Havier was having such a hard time because anytime he had a moment of silence, he'd take the ultrasound from his wallet and stare at it.
I'd walked in on him on the verge of tears once, but he quickly brushed it off and said it was something in his eye. He couldn't fool me and he knew it. I was a therapist.
