Please Stay- Andy Biersack A.U. (COMPLETED)

Chapter 10

Cath's POV
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I opened my eyes feeling strange. My lips were as dry as the Sahara desert and my head hurt like a bitch. After realizing I was in a hospital bed I looked around to see if anyone was with me. Beside the bed there where 3 chairs, where Mom and Danny sat and on the other side were 2 chairs; Jackie and Andy sat on those. They were all asleep but the sun was out, I figured it was fairly early.

Then I remembered what happened, what I had done. I looked down at my arms and my wrists were wrapped in gauze.

"She's awake. She's awake! Guys get up she's awake!" Andy got closer to the bed as everyone else started opening their eyes, awakened by the chaos.

"How are you feeling Honey?"

"Are you okay?"

"You scared the hell out of us!"

"What were you thinking!"

There were too many people talking, my brain had trouble catching up and my head started throbbing, "SHUT UP!"

Everyone went quiet, nobody sure what to say next. Minutes passed with nobody talking. I could see the pity in their eyes--they felt bad for me. They were judging me.

Andy cleared his throat and turned to my mom, "Can I uh.. Can I talk to her... Alone? Please."

They all muttered 'sure' and 'yea' as they walked out of the hospital room.

"Andy can you give me some water please?"

"Sure." He gave me a bottle of water and I pretty much finished it all in the first drink, quenching my thirst.

Andy sighed and it looked like he was about to cry. "Cath...what were you thinking? You scared the hell out of us." He sounded calmer than everyone else had been.

"How long have I been out?" I really didn't want to answer his questions right now.

"Two days."Andy brought the chair up next to the bed and sat down. He took my hand hesitantly. "Why did you do this?"

"Oh you know, same old same old. I didn't like my life so I tried to end it. Who knows? Maybe that reincarnation shit is true. That would've been cool, a second chance. I feel like I would come back as a goat... or a sloth."

"Hey don't say that. I'm glad you're alive." He gave me a small smile but then I remembered he was one of the reasons I did this anyway. I pulled my hand away from his.

"Well I'm not. You know what's worse than hating your life enough to try and commit suicide? The fact that you survived through it. That's worse. That's when not only do you hate your life, but you hate yourself even more because you couldn't even kill yourself. Its incredible how much I fuck up, but the worst fuck up I will ever do is not even being able to kill myself. I can't even do that right." We were both now crying.

"Why did you do it?" Andy asked once again.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and let out a small laugh. "Why wouldn't I?" He looked confused.
"My dad died when I was twelve. That really split the family apart. My mom is an alcoholic, after my dad's death I went into a deep deep depression; and I'm still in a deep deep depression. Not necessarily about his death, although that's part of it. But about everything. My mom drinking, people at school saying stuff, what happened last year.

"Remember when I told you I wasn't a virgin?" He nodded. "Well guess who I lost my virginity to."

He sighed knowingly and looked down. "Asshole ex boyfriend?"

"Yup. And you know what he did? He videotaped it. I didn't know at the time but I found out when he released it to the public. The whole school. God. I swore to never trust any guy again.And then you came along. I didn't want to let you in, in fact I did whatever I could to push you away. But you got in. You knocked those walls down and became my best friend. I started getting closer and closer to you after the incident that happened and well... I had feelings for you...have feelings for you. And I thought you did too.

"I mean, I had my friend telling me 24/7 that you looked at me like I was "the only girl in the world". And I thought to myself,if we had sex, even if we were drunk, he has some type of feelings for me. I mean, you've got to feel something for your friend if you decide you would like to be intimate with them. But I guess I was wrong. You show up with this supermodel, whom I had never seen or heard of before, to one of your gigs and I felt so stupid to think that you would ever go out with somebody like me. I was pumped full off booze, drunk off my ass, crying and feeling sorry for myself, thinking about all the bad things that have happened to me, so I turned to the blades. The only way out I could see at that time. So I guess there's your answer. That's why I did it."

He stayed quiet but looked at me.
Then, unexpectedly, he cupped my face with his hands and kissed me. A spark ran through my body, my skin burned under his touch.

He pulled away, blushing, and looked down. He let go of my face and said ,"you know, she was never actually my girlfriend. I do actually feel the same way about you, but I thought you didn't. I asked Ashley what he thought I should do, which probably was a bad idea, and he said I should make you jealous. To get a girlfriend and let you see what you were missing out on. God that was a dick move, I'm never taking advice from Ashley again.

"I met the girl the night before, she was a fan, a groupie I guess, and I asked her for a favor. Asked her if she would pretend to be my girlfriend. I swear I "broke up" with her the second I knew you were gonna be okay. This is all my fault. If it wasn't for my stupid plan you wouldn't be here."

I lifted his face up so he could look at me and I looked at him straight in the eyes, "listen, you might've been one of the reasons I did this, but it wasn't all your fault. I had been building up all these emotions, hiding all these thoughts in me for so long, it just took a small thing to light the fire. This would've happened sooner or later. DO NOT beat yourself up about this."

He kissed me again, this time a longer kiss. We rested our foreheads together.

"Promise me you will never do anything like this again." He said. "Promise me you will never hurt yourself again. Life gives you enough scars, you don't need to manufacture your own. Promise?"

"I promise."
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A/N: *sobbing* these two chapters really fucked me up man.