A Baby for the Billionaire

46

Zara

Kerem. Ian. Both of you... my dear men:

I just found out about this pregnancy and the decision to continue with it. It wasn't part of the plan for Ian to find out so soon. Paris is beautiful, but to me it's just been a course of going back and forth between gagging and breaking down. I love this city, but in all this time, I haven't been able to think about anything other than my mixed feelings.

Once again, seeing you around me together has had an immense impact. You know how much I appreciate you and to divide myself between one and the other only gets my heart to pieces. In two pieces. Because everyone has their own.

My feelings are so strong for both of you in equal parts that I can't define it. What I'm sure of is that they are not the same. These are two ways of wanting totally different things in essence.

Of course, my greatest interest lies in the way that I wish things had never been like this, but rather differently. But do you know? I am grateful to have found you and to have the opportunity to experience such different loves at the same time.

They are a perfect complement to my life.

Not without the effects of guilt and mental torture that means from the first moment in my life: long nights with nightmares, the idea that I betray both of you and the expectation that you will ever understand me, which would be too much to ask, I know.

And I can't help but confess my reality:

The world that has been subjected to torture for weeks I know what I know. I'm pregnant.

Yes, it is real news, I would never have expected it, despite having taken some precautions, it has happened.

And I ask you to keep my doubts secret and discreet, but if something happens to me, I ask you to look for the answers that my son will need for his life.

Kerem, you are my husband and I would not leave you alone for anything. That's why I decided to continue my life by your side. But Ian, you always deserve the best, I can't be unfair and you deserve to find someone who makes you happy the day that it's not with me, that's why I can't tie you down either.

Kerem, you are the father of my son, but the truth is different: I'm not sure.

That is why I ask both of you, if at any time you come across this note and I, for whatever reason, cannot be the one to deliver it, look for the evidence.

And see that Ali grows up in the truth, something I was not capable of.

Ali deserves to be happy and to know his identity.

Ian, Kerem; I don't know which one is the father of my child.

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but that's how it is.

You have to investigate the truth.

I love you.

I love you both.

Now I must leave.

Destroy this letter, I am so sorry... Thank you for everything, always.

With love,

ZARA.

***

Kerem

"Mr? Mr. Deniz, are you still there?"

The words come to me like dull echoes that hit inside my head and try to make me fall back into reality.