Faze

Chapter 7: His Look

Chapter Seven

Paranoia. A monster that holds a hand over your mouth. It clatters your teeth and pulls out your hair. It hides in your shadow and when you sit in the dark, it looks through your window or hides in the corner of your room. Mackie felt it, like the monster followed him through the day. It woke him up in the morning and tucked him into bed at night.

He used to walk along the treeline to school. But each tree felt like it had eyes that would watch his every move. Today, he felt something similar but he wasn't close to the trees. He ordered food from the cafeteria and silently sat next to Sunny and Lola. He listened to their voices but the hairs on his neck stood like the trees that used to watch him.

He was always scared when he felt like this. Scared that someone was actually looking at him. He stared at his food, poking it with his fork and taking a small bite every minute.

"Are you okay, Mackie?" Lola asked. She put her hand on his back to get his attention, or soothe.

"Yeah, I just didn't get enough sleep," he sighed, continuing to play with his food. "I'll be fine."

Slowly, he finished his lunch while listening to Sunny and Lola talk. It worked in taking his mind somewhere else that didn't belong in the pit of fear. As they left the cafeteria, he turned around, catching the brown pair of Zephan's eyes looking at him with nothing to show on his face.

But his fear went away. His throat no longer felt dry and his anxieties vanished like they weren't even there a second ago.

Mackie turned and followed his friends out of the cafeteria, and the feelings of fear didn't return. "Can we please go into the woods?" Sunny asked again, his voice softer than usual.

"No," Lola answered quickly and Mackie rolled his eyes as a silent response. "We told you–"

"Yeah, yeah it's dangerous but who cares?" He shrugged, a smile washing over his face. "Just once we can go in there and then I won't ask again. What if we really like it? It might be fun and nothing bad is going to happen. It's not like we're going in the middle of the night."

Lola and Mackie met eyes, just like the day before when Sunny asked. But this time, Mackie was feeling a little more brave than usual. If they go in the woods just once then he won't have to worry about it again, that seemed like a good bargain. "Fine, just once," He said, pushing off Sunny who tried to hug him out of excitement. He wasn't much of a hugger. For a minute, he thought about his brother and the wolf he saw. Would he have the same fate as Elijah but not so lucky? But even that thought left him along with his paranoia of the day.

Lola gave Mackie a weary look, "are you sure? Why did you change your mind all of a sudden?"

He shrugged and answered like Sunny wasn't there, "I don't know. I guess it won't hurt if it's just one time. We won't be alone and we can leave whenever we want. I doubt anything bad is going to happen but that doesn't mean we'll go in all the time. Our luck won't last more than once."

Lola nodded and Sunny was still in his glory, "We can go this weekend!"

_____________

Mackie walked home with a pit of dread in his stomach. The weekend was nearing quickly and although he wanted to get his adventure over with, he was scared for it to begin in the first place. The house was quiet but the atmosphere in the dry living room had changed to something a little positive. He put his bag down by the door and looked at Elijah who sat on the couch.

Courtney and Fawn must have been out, he concluded. Elijah bounced his leg up and down, his nerves gnawing at his stomach.

"Is everything okay?" He asked his brother. Mackie could think of a list of things wrong, like his dad losing his job, Courtney dumping him, or something worse.

"Sit down," Elijah pointed to the spot on the couch next to him and Mackie slowly followed to where his finger went. He sat down, his butt sinking to the bottom of the old brown cushion. It smelled of cigarettes and arguments, and beer that left stains. "Everything is okay. Everything is perfect actually."

Mackie raised his brown eyebrows, "what?"

"We're moving."

Mackie felt his heart drop and hammer. Elijah was moving out. That meant no more Fawn to tuck into bed at night and Courtney who always found a way to make him feel loved. No more Elijah. Elijah who saved him. "Oh."

"Aren't you happy?" Elijah frowned, his hazel eyes turning to disappointment. He'd expected Mackie to be happy, not sad.

"No, it's great," he said, playing with a loose string on the couch. "I just thought that you would wait another year for me like you promised."

Elijah smiled and shook his head, "when have I ever broken a promise, Mack?"

Mackie's heart found its way back into his chest. His eyes lit up his face as he smiled. He would get away from his home. Away from his dad who wasn't really a dad, but he used to be. The child in Mackie felt for him, the man that used to be sober but drunk on love.

No more sleepless nights, no more smell of alcohol and cigarettes, no more yelling and arguments that didn't go anywhere. No more tiptoeing around the house.

He hugged Elijah, "Thank you."