Faze

Chapter 21: The Soft Creature In The Woods

​​​Chapter Twenty-One

"What happened?" Zephan's voice was urgent and for a moment, Mackie forgot how he ended up in the woods when he saw him. Zephan crouched in front of him, making sure that he wasn't too close. But even he could see that his stare was different.

Mackie slowly nodded, but he himself wasn't sure, "I got in a fight with my dad."

"Are you okay?" He asked, his voice horace but gentle. The tea couldn't get rid of all of his pain but it was enough to get him moving everyday.

Mackie watched his eyes. He felt like he was alone in the woods with him and it wasn't a bad feeling. He felt comfortable, although Theon was sitting close to him as a furry beast. "I think so," Mackie said, his eyes travelling to the ground. He wanted to forget why his dad was mad at him, he wanted to forget that he could be a bad person sometimes, he wanted his dad back. "He drinks a lot."

Zephan sat on his knees, closer to Mackie, and his eyes never left his. "Do you want to talk about it? I'll listen if that's what you need."

He nodded and rested his chin on his knees. "He wasn't always like this. When my mom was here he was a happy guy and a loving dad and when she left, he still was, until he wasn't. I was young and Elijah made sure I didn't see everything but I could tell that he was really sad. I started experiencing these big feelings," He motioned to his body, then put his head back on his knees. "Then, he started drinking. It was light at first. He would go out to the bar every other day, maybe just a couple times a week. And then he started coming home with booze. It turned into an everyday thing after that. He lost his job, stole money from Elijah and I, and his sadness turned into anger.

He couldn't stop after that. He got addicted and refused any kind of help we tried to give him. There was one time he looked at me and didn't know who I was and that day, Elijah looked me in the eye and made a promise to me that we would move out. Today was one of those days where he didn't recognize me. He was looking for someone I used to be and he chased me out because that person will never come back."

Zephan was looking at him the whole time he was speaking, and even Theon had a bitter look on his wolf face. But Mackie didn't feel so sorry for himself this time. He felt proud that he stuck up for himself and accepted it. "I'm sorry," Zephan said, frowning. "I really wish I can do something to help. I can't imagine what–"

"You can," Mackie cut him off.

"What?" Zephan was confused, his eyebrows knitted together. "What can I do?"

"Take me to your house and tell me about yourself," He stood up and offered Zephan a hand, who grateful took it.

They walked together to the packhouse, side by side. Occasionally, Zephan would brush his shoulder against Mackie's on purpose. Mackie wondered how someone could feel so warm, but he didn't let the thought linger when he watched Theon trot in front of them. His wolf was bigger than Zephan and Leland's. Mackie thought that his head could rest comfortably on his shoulder if he tried. But the more Mackie thought about him, the more he realised that he really wasn't scared of Theon anymore, even as a beast. Looking at Theon as a wolf made him look soft and kind, and almost puppy-like with the way his fluffy ears bounced on his head when he trotted. His left ear was bent, while the other pointed properly.

"It looks like that ear doesn't work," Mackie said, receiving a hum from Zephan.

"It's been like that since he was a pup. He just never grew out of it," he smiled. "The girls in our pack think it's adorable. He hates it."

"Why?"

"He wants to look scary," Zephan said as he watched the ear bounce up and down. Theon was nearly at the packhouse already. "Our pack doesn't like to fight. It's a last resort conflict but Theon doesn't really abide by the rules when it comes to Devlin. Devlin makes fun of his ear all the time and for whatever reason, it gets to him. It's not the reason why they fight but it gives him an excuse to."

"That sounds like him," Mackie said and he found himself smiling. He caught it before Zephan could see and his frown crossed his face like usual. He looked at Zephan, who quickly looked at him too. "I'm sorry for avoiding you."

Zephan sighed, he sounded a little hurt, "what made you change your mind all of a sudden?"

Mackie continued to look at him. He wanted Zephan to believe him. He thought about their phone call. Zephan sounded tired, and drained, and understanding. Zephan was understanding. "I realised that I'm being really closed minded about all of this and I haven't been very fair to you. You didn't choose this either and that's not right of me. I guess... you're not scary, or mean, and you're not a freak who people should avoid." They had stopped walking. Zephan watched Mackie as he spoke and out of nerves, Mackie's eyes were drawn all over the place with every word he said. "I think you're a good person and I know that because this entire time you've only been thinking about me and not yourself. You're in pain too, and I'm sorry."

Mackie looked up at him and he almost looked like crying, but his face turned into a grin and Zephan started to laugh. Mackie wasn't sure why he was laughing but it made him smile at the sound. It lightened his chest and made him feel good because Zephan was laughing because of him.

When Zephan stopped, he was looking at Mackie and the words that came out of his mouth were serious. "You have a right to reject me or avoid me. You know, not all werewolves accept their soulmates. I know someone who didn't accept theirs, well, it's complicated. They're platonic. It's extremely rare. I was even hoping that maybe we were just platonic soulmates, that way we both kinda get what we want and no one is getting hurt, but–"

"We're not platonic," Mackie said, almost a whisper. Zephan nodded and looked away but it wasn't because he was embarrassed that Mackie was saying it out loud, it was because Zephan still couldn't believe it himself.

"We're not," he said. "As a wolf, I want to hold your hand, and kiss you, and wake up next to you. But as a wolf, I also don't care what happens to me as long as you're happy."

Mackie was watching him and when Zephan suddenly moved closer, their bodies facing each other, Mackie felt this sudden urge to back away. "I was doing some thinking and I realised that I don't want you to avoid me anymore and I won't let you." He then understood why he wanted to take a step back, even if it was small. Zephan was serious and the look in his eyes was so intense that a small hint of gold was seen. "I won't let you because if I do, then I am letting you get hurt, and as a wolf, I will do anything to protect you."

Mackie nodded and his shoulders relaxed. Zephan didn't mean any harm. If anything, his intense demeanour was out of love. "I'm sorry," was all that left his lips and the gold in Zephan's eyes washed away and were replaced with a look of pain almost.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for," he said and his shoulders visibly relaxed. "I should be the one apologising to you. Werewolves are real and now you have to live the rest of your life with a red ribbon tied to your finger and that's my fault."

Mackie laughed and Zephan was surprised by the sound, he didn't expect it. "Why are you sorry?" He laughed. "You can't control this either."

Zephan put a hand on the back of his neck, a look of embarrassment washed over his face. "You're right."

"How about we just start fresh?" Mackie suggested and he held out his hand to Zephan.

Zephan nodded and connected their hands. "Okay. I'll tell you everything and we will take this slow," he agreed and shook their hands. As their hands touched, Mackie realised that he no longer felt sick and having a partner next to him for the rest of his life didn't sound so bad.