Delicate

Chapter 57

HARRY STYLES

It's only been six days since the twins were born, but I genuinely can't remember what it was like to not have them here. The funny thing is that I've privately been dreading the whole idea of losing sleep and trying to keep them both from crying, but the sound of their crying is only a reminder that they're real. They're my and Haven's babies and they're here.

And I can't even begin to express my admiration for Haven on top of it all. I've always looked up to her for the way she carries herself and how strong she is. She has her insecurities just like everyone, but she's confident by nature and she knows who she is. I've loved her for everything she is and everything she isn't shortly after we started dating, but watching her give birth to the twins just blew my fucking mind. Katie made a joke that she's like Wonder Woman, but she is. Her body is. Everything about her is out of this world.

With a very soft knock, my mum pushes our bedroom door open further to see me sitting back on the bed with Lily in my arms and Jack swaddled on the mattress between me and Haven. She's passed out, rightfully so, with her hand cupped under his tiny feet in his blanket.

My mum holds her arms out with a smile until I give Lily to her and carefully scoop Jack up from the bed to carry him into Haven's living room so we can let her sleep. The two of us sit close to each other on the couch while both babies remain asleep. They do that a lot, which is great, but I just wish they could interact with us more. Then again, they're only six days old. I shouldn't expect too much.

"How are you feeling?" Anne whispers to me.

I breathe in, shaking my head as I look down at my baby boy. "I can't really explain it. I just...I mean, everything feels different. The things I was worried about a week ago aren't even on my mind anymore."

"Like what?"

"Like...I've been so stressed out wondering how and when I'm going to go on tour, I've been stressed about how the album will be perceived by my fans and critics, and now all I'm concerned about is making sure that the babies and Haven are okay. I love what I get to do so much and I know that I'm so lucky, but I feel less excited about putting the album out and going on the road for my own vain reasons and more anxious to do it as a means to provide for the three of them. It almost feels like a sacrifice because it means that I have to be away from them."

She's smiling as she gently rocks Lily in her arms. "Do you understand now? How much I love you?"

I nod and blink rapidly before the tears can fill my eyes. Maybe I'm delirious from the lack of sleep, but I've been so emotional since the hospital. "Yeah, I think I get it now."

"I knew you would," she raises Lily to kiss her forehead as she sleeps. "They're so special and they have no idea how lucky they are to have you two as parents, and to have Haven's parents as grandparents."

"And you," I add, though everything else she said is true. James and Margaret absolutely adore them. "I want them to know you the same way they're going to know her parents."

"Well, I'd love that too," she nods. "Have you and Haven spoken about what your plans are moving forward for your living situation now that you're back together?"

"Not really," I close my eyes to yawn. "We just agreed that I would move in here with her for the end of the pregnancy and for at least the first couple of months, but now I would definitely like to make the arrangement more permanent. I mean, I always wanted to make the arrangement more permanent."

"Didn't you tell me once that she said she didn't want to live with a partner unless she had kids with or was engaged to them? Isn't that why you two didn't live together in the first place?"