Delicate

Chapter 59

HAVEN MCQUEEN

Today's the day. Fine Line is officially out for the public to hear and I can't believe that I get to be a part of the whole event. I got to be there by Harry's side at midnight when we watched it appear on Spotify and iTunes, and we got to see the number of plays rise faster than we could process it. I got to see him smile and laugh at his phone screen reading his fans' comments on his Instagram post about the album being released. I'll never forget that just like I already know I'll never forget tonight.

Our car is eerily quiet as Harry signals to turn into the VIP entrance of The Forum where he'll park in the back of the venue. The babies aren't making a sound in the backseat, but they're wide awake and curious about our destination as they look out their separate windows.

Harry's new creative director for his recent music videos and projects wanted to film a behind-the-scenes video, which he told me ahead of time, so I'm not surprised to see a video camera as he pulls into the garage of sorts for us to park the car in. It's a private space connected to the venue, which I appreciate since so many of his fans are already here waiting in line.

"Ready?" He asks, hesitating to pull the keys out of the ignition.

"I'm ready," I confirm, tugging on the door handle while he kills the engine to get out on his side. He waves to the camera before we both open the back doors to get the babies out of their car seats. Naturally, he also grabs the diaper bag so I don't have to carry it for myself.

His whole team is already here, including Glenne and the new members of his band that I have yet to meet. It feels so nice to see Mitch and Sarah after they've been spending more time in London, but they're here for the holidays to spend Christmas with Mitch's family in LA and they've been by the house to see the babies a handful of times since they arrived to practice for this show.

It's almost as if no one even cares about Harry now that we have Jack and Lily to show off. The other members of his band, Ny Oh, Elin, Yaffra, and Pauli are all fawning over them as we meet for the first time, and the babies couldn't be happier with the attention. I think they get that from Harry.

"God, you look fucking incredible," Glenne mutters, looking me over in the simple outfit of my old favorite Levi's that fit me perfectly again as well as a plain white T-shirt and Harry's checkered blue jacket because it makes me feel small and safe like all of his clothes.

"Thanks, so do you," I gesture to her in a casual soft black maxi dress that hugs her perfect frame.

"No, but seriously," she checks me out again. "You look amazing."

I wince with my nose scrunched up, asking more quietly, "Do I?"

"Are you kidding me?" She scoffs and makes me turn around. "There's no fucking way you gave birth to twins just almost four months ago."

Her compliment is nice, but I'll admit that I haven't been feeling the most confident with my body lately. I go through waves of thinking, holy shit, I'm a fucking badass bitch for producing and birthing two humans at once, and on the other hand, holy shit, why don't I have super prominent abs anymore and why is it taking so long for my midsection to shrink and why is every other woman in the world so fucking skinny? My thoughts are kinder to me some days than others, but Harry is nicer always.

"I appreciate it," I instinctively sling my arm over my stomach. It's not perfectly flat the way it was before, but it's getting there. "It's annoying because I keep going back and forth thinking that I look good and thinking that I look fucking terrible, and then I feel guilty for wishing I looked better because that feels sexist."