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❛ YOU PROMISED. ❜ 38. Out of Touch ❛ SEASON 05 EPISODE 13 ❜ ▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔
Jealousy eats away at me during the night; it gnaws at my lungs and heart. It went on for the entire night, making it very hard to fall asleep. And yet, I still don't know that if feeling so green is warranted or not. It's been three nights; three nights surrounded by the walls of hell and, already, I want to be outside them— just for some freedom, fresh air, and a moment to think to myself without feeling claustrophobic. Jealousy's one hell of a parasite, and it made me feel too much, which is why I decide to do just that... go outside the walls.
Early morning, moments after making my decision, while everyone's too busy to pay any attention to me, I slip out the house in hopes of going unnoticed. I go straight for the third house, it's where my all of things are.
Everything inside my pack is dumped on the bed, it wasn't needed. I replaced those things with a couple gently placed books, chapter and comic, newish batteries along with my cassette player, and a few snacks.
Still, after all this, I am hesitant. Staring at the walls, which looms over me, I manage to rebuke all thoughts of returning home. I breathe out in anticipation and uncertainty before, firmly, grabbing onto the steel and lifting myself up. I climb with quick huffs of air and irregular groans; there's no kind of strength in my upper body.
I climb down, on the other side, carefully; making sure I'm at a decent height before releasing the bars and jumping down with a soft grunt, landing safely. As I turn from the wall, a laugh of surprise puffs pass my lips.
I'm outside the walls.
It feels foreign, that feeling of freedom. I, perhaps, am not supposed to be contained or closed in. It feels right to come and go whenever I please; it's freeing, and there's no better feeling than that.
Maybe I think this way because of people; being around new people, welcomed to be in their home, accepted behind their walls, after everything that's happened to us. The smiles and laughter and their problem freelifestyle, it's overwhelming. Maybe, a few of us feel this way more than others. I just can't stand it for too long... especially new people.
I savor this feeling of standing outside the walls.
After walking roughly two miles through the woods I found it, a great spot to settle down and sit. But before I sit and settle, I take a moment to check my surroundings. The tree behind me has a huge crack in it, enough room for me to fit inside; big logs are beside it, inches to the left and facing the opposite way. The perfect spot to hide and the perfect spot to relax, all right here. I find nothing out of the ordinary so I take a seat and open my bag, taking everything out.
