Chapter 21

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I took a deep breath as I pulled myself from another dream. Another reminder of the oasis the Djinn had plunged me into. Another fading memory of the man I had thought I'd loved, of the son and life I didn't have. I closed my eyes, reminding myself of the world I lived in and searching blindly with my fingertips until they found the warm body of the man I chose to love.

I took another deep breath and opened my eyes, staring at the sleeping form. I watched quietly for several seconds, studying Ketch as he slept softly. His chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. I wondered what he dreamed of if the faces of people and things he'd killed still haunted him too. I slid quietly from the bed and got dressed.

I stepped out of the room, fixing the last button on my shirt as I stepped into the quiet early morning hall, and collided with a well-dressed angel.

"Cas," I said, bouncing off of him and steadying myself. "Just getting in?"

He nodded, "Yes, I was just helping Dean sleep." He looked me over, his blue eyes piercing as they took in my state. "You look like you haven't been sleeping well. Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, Cas." I folded my arms over my chest, "Have you seen Cael?"

He nodded again, "He's resting. I did the best I could to help him heal, it's up to him now to finish the job." Cas sighed, "I've been working with Gabriel again as well, but I don't seem to be making any progress."

I motioned down the hall and started to walk a ways away from the bedroom door so we could finish talking. Though I wasn't sure what else to say about it. Elly was going to be restricted on hunts for a while, Cael was recovering as fast as he could but was otherwise useless. Ketch and Cas were searching for Lucifer in every way they could. Sam and Dean were coming and going from hunts as safely as they could. They'd wanted me to go with them several times now, but after the Djinn accident last week, they had stopped asking. It seemed like they were afraid it had affected me too much. Gabe was our only hope for any sort of light at the end of the tunnel right now, and he was still insane. I glanced down the hall towards the room I knew the angel to be in. It was just barely cracked, golden light from a lamp pouring from it, and I could just barely hear Sam's voice coming from it.

"You've been really helpful Cas, I hope you know that." I told the angel, "Are you doing ok? Lucifer didn't take too much grace right?"

"I'm alright," he assured with a smile.

I returned the smile, not sure what else to say on any matter. My head swirled with the events of the last month. The pieces fell all around me, but I had no idea where to begin to pick them up again. I wanted to be done with it. I wanted to go back to bed and be under Ketch again, forget everything else, and enjoy the moments of bliss he gave me. He had always been the only thing that could do that for me, even if it was just a few moments.

As if summoned by my thoughts, our bedroom door cracked open and the man himself stepped from the shadows into the light of the hall. He adjusted the cuff of a sleeve as he took in Cas and I just down the hall.

Cas looked back at me and nodded, our conversation done. He turned without another word and headed down the hall towards the server room. I turned to Ketch and walked towards him, wrapping myself around him when he was within reach. We stood there, each holding the other.

"I had another dream," It was almost a whisper. "Just like the others. Flashes of the world they had me trapped in."

"You were trapped for a few days, it will take some time for them to fully leave." he pulled me closer, squeezing me just enough to remind me of what was real. "I'm sorry I couldn't get to you sooner."

"I'm sorry I fell for their trap. It was so stupid of me." I shook my head.

"Shhh." He cooed softly, "Anyone would have fallen for it. It is not your fault you were jumped. I'm just glad you're alive."

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