in the middle of the chaos | jean kirstein x fem!reader

7 | in the middle of the starry sky

It was past midnight, that was the only thing Y/n was sure about.

It was also the night before they would take off for Trost, but Y/n couldn't sleep. Everyone stemming from Trost or having family had been allowed to go visit, meaning she would be seeing her family for the first time in about two years. Her mother, brother and sister.

Not her father.

It's been four years since he'd died. Yet, Y/n imagined him at home sometimes, dancing around the kitchen with her mother, or chasing Leo around, or even sitting and listening to Stella blab about a new story she'd come up with. He'd been such a good and loving father.

So why? Why did he leave?

It hit her at night sometimes, the fact that he was gone. She didn't know how he'd died — killed on an expedition, they'd said — but she could only imagine. There weren't many things that could kill you outside the walls.

She was spiraling. There was no way she could sleep anymore. She tossed and turned, but she couldn't fall asleep. Sasha snored next to her, as did a few other girls around, which irritated her even more. Fresh air. Maybe that would help her fall asleep.

She got up and put on some old boots — she threw on a brown skirt and a blouse, then tiptoed out of the girls' barracks, the sound around her disappearing as soon as she closed the door. She took in her surroundings. No person walked around, though she ought to be careful, or else Shadis might just have her head.

The moon hung high, surrounded by countless of stars, illuminating the training grounds below. It looked so pretty, it felt so peaceful . . . she needed to share this sight with somebody. Just like the good old times.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

The door opened. Eren stood there, his eyes squinting and his hair a mess. ''Who's that? Y/n? What're you doing here in the middle of the night? You know we're going to Trost tomorrow, right?''

Y/n nodded. ''Yes, yes. Can you get Jean, please?''

Eren's eyebrows furrowed. He seemed more awake now. ''Is something wrong? Do you need help?''

''No, I'm all fine! Don't worry.'' Y/n gave him a sheepish smile. ''Just . . . get Jean? Please?''

He stood there for a moment. Why the hell was Y/n there so late at night? What if Shadis caught her? ''Fine. Give me a moment.'' He closed the door in her face, turning around and trying to navigate his way to Jean's bed in the dark.

''Yo, Jean!'' Eren whisper-yelled as he touched — what he assumed is — Jean's shoulder, shaking his body. ''Wake up.''

''What the fuck do you want, Jeager,'' Jean's voice was muffled. His face must've been smushed in his pillow. ''Leave me alone.''

''Y/n's at the door. She's looking for you.''

Jean's eyebrows furrowed and he opened his eyes. He could still feel Eren's hand on his shoulder, so he quickly slapped it away. ''Don't fucking touch me.'' Jean whispered.

''I'm just trying to help you here!'' Eren grumbled before his footsteps moved away. Jean heard him hit his bed, cursing as he did so — he almost wanted to laugh.

He couldn't. Y/n was still at the door. Why the hell is she here so late at night? Jean quickly put on his shoes, grabbing his green cloak from the end of his bed and quietly made his way to the door. She was leaning on the wall when he exited, looking at the sky. ''Y/n?''

Y/n looked at him, a smile breaking on her face. ''Jean!''

''Why aren't you asleep?'' Jean asked. He still felt exhausted, but the worry kept him awake. ''Are you alright? Did something happen?''