in the middle of the chaos | jean kirstein x fem!reader

18 | in the middle of carrying the boulder

Cries filled Y/n's ears as a red flare was sent off in the air — the mission had failed. Eren had failed.

Y/n stood next to Marco atop the wall, waiting for their dispatch order. As it seemed, however, there would be no such thing. Eren won't be able to close the wall and they won't be able to liberate Trost. Her home was done for.

''Did they . . . fail?'' Marco asked the obvious.

''How?'' Armin asked as he came to stand next to them. He gritted his teeth before he put his supply load on the ground and ran away. Marco called to him and followed.

Y/n could hear the Commander and his subordinates conversing, though she didn't pay attention to them. Her eyes remained on the smoke emitting from between the buildings, most likely coming from Eren's titan.

Wire-zipping filled her ears and Jean suddenly dropped in front of her, Marco and Connie; Y/n wasn't exactly sure when he'd joined them. ''What's up with Eren?'' Jean asked.

''Armin headed over alone,'' Marco explained. ''It'll probably work out.''

Well, at least one of us had to have hope, right?

''Probably?'' Jean asked.

''It will.'' Marco said. ''I'm sure. Eren can do it.''

''I don't see the point of luring the titans to the corner of the town,'' Connie said.

''We aren't supposed to fight them. We're a distraction,'' Y/n reminded him. ''Though, if Eren can't pick up that boulder and plug the hole . . .''

''Fighting them will only result in a battle of attrition,'' Jean added. ''They're probably trying to keep deaths to a minimum right now.''

''So you're saying all the deaths up till now were meaningless?''

''An all-out war is inevitable,'' Jean tried to reason with Connie. ''But until then, it's obvious we should minimize our losses as to preserve our forces. The higher-ups are right.''

''Is that how it is?'' Connie asked.

''Of course!''

Connie's back was facing them now. ''Well, let's try not to become losses, then.'' He faced them again, a nervous smirk on his face. ''All of us.''

Y/n and Jean shared a look. Easier said than done, but sure.

———

''Listen up. We just need to keep the titans in a corner. Keep that in mind, and lure them accordingly. Understand? There's no need for you to fight. Recruits will travel on foot in groups of four. Once you reach the wall, climb up. Try not to die. We'll eliminate any titans that somehow get away.''

The recruits were dispatched not too long after. Y/n was placed in a group with Jean, Annie and Connie — with them were three more recruits, as well as a higher-up. They were hiding between the buildings, ready to go out and be alive bait for the titans. Fun.

''Somehow?'' Jean asked.

''Permission to act independently in life-threatening situation?'' Annie asked. Y/n side-eyed her — was she planning to fight titans?

''If that'll save you, sure,'' the higher-up said. Explosions erupted not too far from their hiding spot. Y/n took a deep breath and took out her blades. ''Kirstein's squad, go!''

''Sir!''

It was weird. Y/n had ran those streets countless of times in her youth, having laughed with Jean as she did so. Never in her life had she thought she would run down those same streets again, though this time, she would be running away from titans, trying not to get eaten alive.