in the middle of the chaos | jean kirstein x fem!reader

27 | in the middle of the anniversary

Y/n couldn't sleep through the night so she was up bright and early the next morning. Everyone was still asleep, so she went out to the kitchen and started making herself tea. She still wanted to talk with Hange-san, to apologize for the way she'd reacted the day before, but Hange still wasn't there. Right now, she had other problems at hand.

How the fuck does one act in a relationship?

She and Jean have always been close. They were okay with physical contact and they always fussed over each other. So what was the difference now? They knew they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with each other. That had always been a fact regardless. But beyond that? Sasha and Connie's accusations yesterday had given her a sleepless night.

Were they supposed to kiss? She'd never really imagined kissing someone. Well, maybe Jean when they were younger, but she hadn't really had time to think about that the past few years. And beyond kissing? Did he want to . . .? Did she? Why was this so complicated? She didn't want to think about that, they'd confessed to each other less than a week ago. They weren't in a rush, right? Other than that, would anything between them change? Was it still okay to tease him and make fun of him? He hasn't really teased her as much as he normally would, which was odd. He'd become even more worried about her now — though she wasn't sure whether it was because of her collision with the wall or because they were dating.

Wait.

Are we even dating? Jean never said anything and neither did she. They never made it official. Holy fuck, what were they?

''Good morning, Y/n.'' Mikasa's voice came from behind.

Y/n's head snapped to her. ''Mikasa!'' Y/n ran over to her, tea long forgotten, and put her hands on Mikasa's shoulders. ''Am I dating Jean?''

Mikasa's eyebrows shot up. ''Uh . . . I don't know. Shouldn't you know?''

''I thought so, too!'' Y/n said as she let go of the girl, who buried her face in her scarf in embarrassment. ''This is so confusing!''

''What's confusing?'' Sasha entered the room with a yawn. She still wore her sleeping attire, but when she spotted Y/n and Mikasa, her eyes widened. ''What's going on? Are we gossiping?''

''No, we have a dilemma,'' Mikasa said, pointing at Y/n, who was pacing up and down in front of the dining table. ''Are Y/n and Jean dating?''

Sasha's mouth formed an 'O' for a moment before she closed it. ''Hm. Didn't you confess back to him?''

Y/n stopped in front of Sasha and Mikasa, nodding. ''I did. But we never really said we were dating, you know?''

''Does he act like you're dating?'' Sasha asked, then she scratched her head. ''Actually, how does one act like you're dating?''

The three girls stood in silence, looking between each other as if the answer would fall from the roof. Neither had an answer. ''. . . I don't know,'' Mikasa finally said, playing with the end of her scarf.

Sasha shrugged. ''Yeah, me neither.'' She looked at Y/n.

''Maybe you should talk to Jean,'' Historia's voice suddenly spoke, causing the three girls to jump. She stood there with her arms crossed, her eyes still looking tired. She's been looking like that ever since Ymir went with Reiner and Bertoldt, barely talking with anyone. ''If you guys are in a relationship, you should be able to talk things through.''

Is she speaking from experience. Y/n gave her a smile. ''Thanks, Historia. I think I will.''

Historia nodded. ''Also, if you don't want anyone hearing this conversation, you should talk in a room next time,'' Historia said as she walked over to the kitchen isle and brought out a cup. ''Anyone could've walked in, you know.''