Chapter 16

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Isabel
Carter brought Rain back, and i missed her so much.

She really does make me a better person, and having her was one of the best decisions in my life. And i couldn't imagine her living her whole life knowing she has a sister.

Which is why Carter needs to contact Ryder, she deserves the truth and so does my daughter.

"So when are you gonna contact Ryder". I say as i breastfeed Rain, while speaking to Carter.

"I don't know". His sullen tone is very disappointing.

He is texting on his phone completely ignoring me, and you can obviously tell he doesn't wanna talk about it. But i'm just as sick of talking about it as he is.

But the sooner we clear this up, the sooner we can stop talking about it. The sooner we can all move on as a family.

You'd think he would wanna do this.

To save his relationship.

So to get his attention a little more, i grab his phone and throw it in the couch.

"What the hell is the matter with you Isabel". He slightly yells, trying to not upset our daughter in my hands.

"I'm trying to talk to you, and you're ignoring me".

"You want me to contact Ryder, i know that. So what is there to talk about. I'm sick of talking about it okay. This isn't an easy thing for me to do, to just disrupt a child's life".

"It's not just a child Carter. She's your child, the child you've lied to. The child you've given up for your own selfish needs". This isn't the Carter i know.

He needs to man up.

"I am selfish your right. I gave Ryder up so i can have a better life, so one day i can't have the life i dreamed of, the family i dreamed. But i'm fucking trying Isabel okay? Yes i know i gave her up, you don't have to remind me. You don't have to remind me of the terrible choice you think i made. But you don't get it, and you never will. You don't have to like what i did, but you will respect my choice, as it wasn't an easy one. I said i will do anything to fix this and i will. But stop rushing me. I have to figure out how i'm gonna do it, for Ryder's sake. And ours. Like i said you don't know what contacting her will do, so you have to give me time to figure it out. So for now we are done talking about it. I said i'll do it, and i will. Clear".

"Yea". I say quietly as his speech got me thinking about how i've been acting. He hurt me, and he knows it.

And im not helping us, im making it worse.

"Good, and until i tell you something about it, i don't wanna hear another word about Ryder". Carter than goes back to typing on his phone.

"So are we supposed act like a happy couple until you decide what your gonna do". I hear him chuckle in annoyance, but i can't live and pretend like nothing is wrong.

Carter puts his phone down, and looks at me.

"Put her down". Ushering his head to Rains bassinet we have in the living room. I slowly move Rain off my boob as she's pretty much done feeding anyway, and lay her down.

He scoots closer to me, basically hovering over me.

"What did i just say to you Isabel". I'm guessing he's talking about the part where he doesn't wanna talk about it anymore.

"I know you don't wanna talk about it, but i can't just pretend that nothing is wrong".

"I'm not asking you too, i'm asking you to give me time. But if you don't wanna wait then let me know if i'm waisting my time trynna fix us". My eyebrows lift in awe.

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