A Starling's Redemption

Or Maybe Not

Just like the Sunday before, we visited the neighbors. I poured out my heart to Mrs. Schwartz about Shannon, and how her relationship with Josh had ended. Mr. Schwartz talked to us about bitterness.

"Unforgiveness is a poison. It slowly kills the heart, and the soul. We will pray for Shannon, and will miss seeing her."

As sad as they were to hear about Shannon, they were excited to see the change in me.

Mrs. Schwartz said, "You two will be a great couple, and you are already a blessing to us. I'm sure you will be a great blessing to many others throughout your life together." That visit was the highlight of my day. The lowlight came that evening.

It was after dinner, and I still hadn't heard from my family. Why hadn't they called? Had they not returned from their ski trip? I decided to call. I put it on speaker so the Whitakers could hear our conversation. My mom answered.

"Samantha Talmage."

"Hi, Mom. It's Amanda. Have you made it home yet?"

"We've been back since Friday."

"I thought you were going to call me when you returned?"

"We forgot about calling you. We figured you'd come home whenever. We weren't worried."

After the call, I felt a bit deflated. I hugged each one of them, telling them how much they all had come to mean to me. I'd be going home after school the next day, and I was going to miss them, even the little pervert.

Of course, Helen reassured me, "Amanda, you will always have a place with this family. Anytime you want to come back and stay, you are more than welcome."

I asked, "Josh, are you looking forward to getting your bedroom back?"

"Sort of. But our home will seem lonely without you. At least we'll see each other in school, and we should start dating soon." We stayed on the couch until almost one in the morning. I was feeling extremely insecure, and I couldn't seem to get enough cuddling.

The next morning was a bit of a rush, with all five of us preparing to go out the door. Josh was showered and dressed before anyone else was even awake. I was wearing my own jeans, and one of Josh's shirts. I felt a bit uncomfortable. I was nervous about returning to school. I was worried about who might know what had happened the previous week. Or worse, what the rumor mill thought it knew. I kept fidgeting and squirming, so in his pick-up on the way to school, Josh asked if I was okay. I tried to give him a playful smile, but I couldn't hide the fear in my eyes, or the insecurity in my voice.

I said, "I haven't worn panties in over a week, and I forgot how uncomfortable they are." He called me a little brat when he figured out I was flirting with him. When we arrived at school, we went our separate ways.

Josh and I reconnected at the beginning of our lunch break. His friends were all surprised to see us together, and eager to hear my story. He drove me to my parents' home after school each day, before going to work.

The rest of the week, we'd discuss my home life, and Josh would ask me about my family. I made several attempts to discuss my spring break with my parents. They made it clear they were not interested in hearing about it. I asked about their ski trip, but they would only say it was fine. I tried to start conversations at the dinner table, but none of them, my parents or my brother, would talk to me. They were all too busy with their phones. I hated the view beyond my bedroom window – the manicured landscape. I really missed the real woods. The worst part was when my parents found out about me and Dick Ryndon. That was Friday night...