Turbulent Ties

9-The Fight

"And sometimes I have kept my feelings to myself, because I could find no language to describe them in."
- Jane Austen

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New

"I won't force you to talk to me. This is a serious matter and we have to discuss it even if you don't want to."

P'Mook's words echoed in my mind, urging me to open up and share my burden. Perhaps it was time to break free from the prison of silence that I had locked myself in.

With a deep breath, I started to speak.
"It's too much to bear sometimes, P'Mook. I want to disappear, forever."

My voice quivered at first, but gradually gained strength as I poured out my heart. I spoke of the dreams that haunted my sleep, the lingering pain that weighed me down, and the overwhelming sense of loss that consumed me. I also disclosed the matter of the arranged marriage, although P'Mook was already aware of this circumstance. Despite her absence during their visit, she remained knowledgeable of the situation.

As the words tumbled out, I felt a weight being lifted off my shoulders. It was as if by speaking my truth, I was releasing myself from the grip of despair.

P'Mook, who had been silently listening, reached out and held my hand, offering comfort and reassurance. "Some things are just too difficult to put into words, Newwie. I appreciate what you're doing now."

I nodded, wiping away a single tear that escaped my eye. In that moment, I realized the power of vulnerability and the strength that came from sharing our struggles. Sometimes, the act of opening up to someone who cared could be the balm that heals the deepest wounds.

"I don't wish to marry him, P'Mook. While he may be a good person, that is not my concern. I have no interest in understanding what kind of person he is. I simply do not want to be connected to him," I stated, a headache beginning to form from my tears.

P'Mook took a deep breath, her voice calm. "I understand, Newwie. I empathize with your feelings better than anyone else. I have discussed this with Dad, but unfortunately, he disagrees with me."

"I don't want to let go of Earth... please do something." My voice trembled.

"I know, Newwie. I'll do my best to save you from this."

I tightened my grip on her shoulders, giving her a gentle side-hug. She responded by soothingly rubbing my hair. How fortunate I am to have a sister like P'Mook. I should be grateful for her presence in my life.

"I wish to believe that he can change for the better. I am making an effort to not harbor hatred towards Dad, P'Mook. However, he continuously proves me wrong," I expressed, struggling to convey my emotions.

"He's changed a lot after mom left us. It's like he's a complete different person. That's what love can do to you, Newwie. It is capable of either building someone up or breaking them down."

"Do you think he'll ever change? Will he find it in himself to forgive me? He's become so heartless, it terrifies me that he'll do something bad. Real bad." The thought weighs heavily on my mind as I gaze at the resplendent sky before me.

"It's not your fault," reassured P'Mook.

"I know..." I whispered through tear-stained cheeks.

"It's not your fault, Newwie." P'Mook reiterated.

"I-I... I cannot comprehend why..." I began, my voice cracking. Overwhelmed with emotion, I dissolved into a despairing mess. Clinging to P'Mook, I clutched onto her tightly, filled with an unshakeable fear that she too may vanish if I let go.