Double Black Oneshots

Anniversary

It was a typical day for the Armed Detective Agency. Some cases to solve. Some missions to do. Some reports to submit. And some upcoming activities to discuss. The usual routine goes on.

However, there's one annoying existence that breaks the cycle of the organized day-to-day schedule of the ADA.

Well if you happened to have a walking bandages device hanging around the office, everything is possible. This is none other than the whiny man-brat also slash genius detective, (for some ironic reason), Dazai Osamu.

It's just this day that the level of stupidity of the suicidal b*stard reached its peak. His uptight partner couldn't keep his cool and finally exploded. (This is just a metaphor, of course.)

"DAZAI!!! IT'S ONLY 9 O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING AND YOU HAVE MANAGED TO MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELF!!! STOP DISTURBING ANYONE IN THIS ROOM AND KEEP THAT F*CKING PAPER PLANE OF YOURS OR I'LL CRUMPLE IT ALONG WITH YOUR FACE!!!" The former math teacher hollered.

"But there's nothing to do~ It's boorrriiinnnggg~" The mackerel slumped his face on his desk.

"THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS TO DO, SH*TTY DAZAI! YOU JUST HANDED THEM TO YOUR PROTEGE! YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE MAKING YOUR OWN REPORT, YOU LAZY ASS!" His raging partner pointed.

"But I just can't right now~" The beanpole whined.

A snapped sound was heard from a vein popping out from the blond's forehead. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T RIGHT NOW?! YOU NEVER ONCE DID YOUR OWN SHARE OF REPORT, D*MBASS!"

"Ah!" The brunet's eyes suddenly lit up in the moment. "But I just remembered I have some very important thing to do~" The bandaged freak then stated.

"NO MORE BUTS!!" The workaholic detective, with stomping feet, sprinted to his good-for-nothing partner and started strangling him to death. "LISTEN HERE, YOU SH*TTY WASTE OF SPACE! DO YOUR REPORT OR I'LL MAKE YOUR DEATH WISH COME TRUE!!!"

Vane words and never ending complaints came out from the lips of the fuming detective accompanied by the sound of (fake) cries from the living nuisance.

This became unbearable to the eyes of the anxious weretiger upon realizing that all the people in the room were not even minding the whole f*ck up situation. He then got up from his chair to save his mentor from the gates of hell.

"Ku--Kunikida-san, plea--please calm down! Dazai-san is just kidding around!" The ever reliable Atsushi went to pacify the bickering duo.

"Whether he's kidding or not, he still needs to be disciplined!" The megane detective released the brunet.

"Why does Kunikida-kun have to be so brutal?! This is clearly an act of violence!" Dazai childishly protested.

His uptight partner shot a glare. "Do your report or you'll be staying late until you finish everything."

"Wh--what? No." The brunet detective immediately felt crest fallen.  He made such a devastated look that his partner looked at him with confusion.

"What do you mean, no?" The former math teacher asked sternly.

"I can't. I can't, Kunikida-kun." Dazai stated with uneasiness. He glanced away sheepishly towards the questioning eyes of his partner.

The blond megane was taken aback from the unusual reaction. "Oi, what's up with you?"

The beanpole slumped back again on his chair and heaved a sigh. "I told you today is an important day to me. It's our anniversary."

Now this caught the attention of the ever single lady doctor and the ever busy greatest detective who's currently munching some chips. Both glanced at the direction of the brunet.