Loving the unloveable

Losing the kids too

Elias:

I wait for addy and Diego to safely get inside before confronting my girlfriend who has been acting more like a god damn stranger than the girl I love for the past few days. She hasn't spoken to any one of her friends outside of that Lucy girl who everyone really fucking hates. But the worst part is she looks so empty and tortured and I don't know why, I don't know how to fix it when she won't even tell what needs to be fixed!

"Ever since Friday you've shut the whole world out including me and I need to know why Moore. I want to help you but I can't if you keep pretending that there's nothing wrong" I step forward my voice projecting across the gap she's keeping wide, away from me.

"I don't need your help!" She insists frustratedly and for the first time in three days she's shown an emotion. It's anger but that's better than nothing. Anything is better than nothing because it shows she's still there and that she still cares.

"Then talk to Mal or Kim or Malcolm or any fucking one but please stop isolating yourself" I know exactly what she's doing because anytime anything goes wrong she tries to deal with it independently but this time she's taking it too far.

"Stop acting like I need help I'm fine!" She screams back and I laugh sarcastically.
"you're choosing an old druggie over your actual friends and boyfriend! If you call that fine then I really don't know you" I raise my hands as my volume climbs to new heights. How can she seriously try and lie to me?

"That's exactly it, you don't know me. Not really and I don't want you to" my face drops.
"What are you talking about?" She smiles but it's a spiteful curve of her lips.
"The only reason I said yes to being you're girlfriend is because I felt bad for you. You'd asked so many times that I was bored with saying no, I pitied you" she takes a step with each insult and I stumble back feeling like she physically ripped my heart out and tore it into two.

"You're lying" I shake my head, refusing to believe what she's so adamantly telling me.
"Of course you'd want to believe that, you're so desperate to be loved it's pathetic" she laughs and the sound that used to warm my heart burns it to ash. "Why are you doing this? What did I do to you? What happened?" I press for an answer because I still believe my Moore is in there somewhere, behind all of this cruelty.

"You're still making excuses for me? Oh god Elias you really have embarrassed yourself" she smirks like this is all amusing to her. Like tearing me apart is fun for her. "Listen up, I.don't.want.you" she annunciates every word with venom and it breaks something inside of me. "Fine I'm just some charity case you decided to help but tell me Moore, why the sudden change? You were telling me you loved me on Thursday and now this. It doesn't make any sense" she shrugs.

"I'm tired of pretending" now that, that I believe.
"Then stop. I'll still be here when you do" her body relaxes for a second before she realises and snaps her back into it's stiff posture once more.
"I don't want you to be here"
"Well I want to be here"
"Are you not listening?! I want you to leave my life, just get up and go. I don't love you, never have and I never will. You were just a distraction but I'm over that now and I'm over you"

She jabs her finger in my chest and that really does it, shes throwing punches and I don't have it in me to fight my corner anymore. "Okay if that's what you really want then you got it. I'm going" I step backwards. "Finally , it's about time" my hand clenches into a fist. How could she be so wicked? "I really did love you Iris" I feel the need to tell her. "I know, but I never loved you back"

It was all a lie? All a bit of fun, messing with my whole fucking life. I would have taken a bullet for her, I would have sacrificed my whole career for her and she breaks my heart like it's nothing.
"I hope you realise Iris," I say as I walk backwards because I just can't help myself.
"you're only unloveable because you refuse to let people love you. I've proven that you can be loved and you've proven that you won't let me" with those last words I turn away from the girl I still love more than myself.