PRAYED EMOTIONS
(WARNING: this chapter will be talking about the questioning of gods existence, travis's beliefs, the incapability to write how to pray correctly, and possible incorrect mentions from the bible. if any of this will be a sensitive/triggering topic, please click off.
This chapter is also longer than my usual chapters, and deep feelings are expressed towards the end.)
Travis finally felt like he belonged, he felt like he was meant to be somewhere for a change. He finally didn't feel out of place, somewhere he wasn't meant to be.
Yet, he chose to ignore those feelings and force himself to feel like it was wrong.
The mixed emotions he was forcing himself to feel was bubbling up inside of him, he felt nauseous, aggravated, sorrowful, delighted, all at the same time, he felt overwhelmed, like he was over working himself.
He walked inside his house with an insensate sigh, his ears were empty from the sounds and presence of his father in the house, leaving him feeling a bit blessed, for once in his dreadful life.
He quickly went up to his room, dropping his backpack by the door, quickly taking the cross on his bed in his hands, getting on his knees, putting his hands together, and closing his eyes. (just a note, i have absolutely no clue how to pray, i'm not religious, so i'm sorry if i did it wrong, or in a weird way.)
"God, please don't let my feelings become true. I don't want to become a sinner, I want to continue being true to you. If you're.. Really there, then show me a sign, show me the path I'm taking is wrong, guide me to the truth. Please, and thank you for showing me the way, Amen." Travis could feel his hands shaking, his bruised knees trembling beneath him, physical, and emotional pain coursing through him like a river.
He let out a quivering sigh, standing up, yet continuing to stare at the cross in his hands.
He's never once been shown a sign of God's existence, he's only believed a book that's been made by who knows thousands of years ago for so long, and has only just believed the word of his father. God has been apart of his whole life, he basically raised him in a way.
He's never seen him, he's never heard of a mysterious voice, he hasn't shown up in his dreams, he felt if God really cared for him, and really existed, he'd prove it.
He felt so irritated for a reason he couldn't understand, he didn't get why he was so upset over something that's always calmed him down.
Yet, he pushed his own feelings aside once more and decided to get ready for his job.
He put on one of the over-sized dark purple sweaters his mother gave him before she died, it was one of the things he treasured the most. He put on a pair of dark blue jeans, and a dirty pair of white lace up shoes, his fading-out blonde hair seeping down to his shoulders, a scar across his eye being shown off to the world.
He walked out of the door and resumed his walking like from earlier, but heading towards the apartment building.
The door let out a creak once it was open, warm air brushing against his skin.
He said hello to Terrance like normal, getting on with his duties, starting with cleaning the leak in front of the washing machine, he's gotten wind of someone who'd recently tripped in front of it, someone who wasn't wearing pants?
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Soulmates - Salvis
Fanfiction"Do you think we're soulmates in every universe?" The blue haired boy asked sorrowfully, looking up to the unnatural blonde, dreading his answer. "You need to stop pretending we are in this one." Travis answered the smaller boy aggressively, his fac...
