Chasing Darkness

Chapter 13

"Marcus.." He's crystal eyes piercing into mine were the lasts things I remember before falling..
Falling into complete and utter darkness.

Mood: Break You Open - Aruna
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First there was complete and utter darkness. I didn't fight it. I learned to embrace it. Until I found light.

"Rosy.."
Huh..?
"I know you can't really hear me right now.."
Yes I can.
"I want to say I'm sorry. I'm so sorry"
For what..?
"For hurting you. For causing you to be like this.. I'm so sorry.."
"You're probably never forgive me.."
I could.
"But I love you Rose.. I know I messed up big time but I.. I never have regretted something so much in my life. If I could I'd go back and change everything. I wish I wasn't so messed up. I was just so scared. So scared.."
It's okay.. It's okay..

I felt drops of warm water fall onto my face. The caused me to slowly open my eyes and look up to see a crying Marcus. Who seemed to not know I had awaken yet.

I looked around and realized I was not only in the nurses office but in Marcus's warm..embrace. I should be furious. But I'm not. I should want to hit him but all I want is to stay like this with his forever.

But what am I suppose to say? I have a million thoughts in my head but I can't seem to say a single word. I open my mouth to speak but no words come out. Instead I just tug on his shirt for him to realize I'm finally awake.

At first he looked at me such kind and caring eyes. So much happiness. But then they suddenly turned to fear and sadness.

"Rose..Rosalinda..I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry.." His eyes fill with tears again as he his grip on me tightens. He brings he closer to him to the point where I can hear his heartbeat.

I want sure what to do. I was so afraid.. I wanted to be here. To be with him. But I was terrified. I should be. After all he's done to me. But I couldn't bring myself to leave. I just couldn't.

Then I realized, Donny..Lucas... Her..
Marcus wasn't the only one who had hurt me. They had all left me when I needed them most. Why didn't luke told me? Why did he keep it from me? He promised he'd help me! He promised! I guess now I shouldn't be so surprised that no one can keep their promises anymore.

"Marcus.. Just tell me why, why'd you do it.." I looked up at him and desperately searched for something some sort of answer that I longed for.

"Rosy.. I.. I have schizophrenia.." He looked with me with such sad eyes and he managed to paste a sad smile on his face.

I was silent for a while then I busted out crying. Not because I was sad for what he did to me. But for my poor Marcus. I wrapped my arms around him and cried into his chest for what seemed like hours.

He never told me! Why didn't he tell me!? I could have helped him. I could have been there for him. He was scared.. Scared of me.. scared of so many things..

I wanted to say comforting words to him but he silenced me.
"Don't say anything rose.. Please, just let me hold you for a little while.."
So I let him. I let him keep me in his embrace for as long as he needed, but our time together was cut off by the door sliding open quickly.

There in the doorway stood a very, ticked off Lucas.