Halo Effect//S.M.

Beating hearts and disappearances

"And in that moment we were infinite"
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Shawn's pov:

I lay a hand across my chest, counting my heart beats and convincing myself I'm still alive. It was an old habit I'd picked up from my mother when I was younger. She'd wrap her arms around me and place one hand over her heart and the other above mine. It's as if she's sitting right beside me and I hear the words she used to repeat, - "nothing's really that bad if your heart is still beating."

Her words, rather debatable had still managed to stick with me and become somewhat of a motto. My mother was a smart women, she would have become a lawyer if it weren't for me. I came into the picture unexpected and my mom was forced to quit school and focus all her attention on me. She never acted as if this bothered her, that my birth was an inconvenience, but I'm certain it was.

I'm sitting in a taxi, Meredith beside me, asleep with her head against the window. Her breaths are even and calm. We're going south on a busy highway and I'm flooded with thoughts. The most striking, of my mother, forced to become hard and cold from past experience. I can see her now pacing our small kitchen, pulling at her hair nervously. She's probably just received a call from the school telling her I've gone missing. The conversation sounding something like this-

"Hi Ms. Mendes, I'm calling to inform you of your son Shawn's disappearance."

Her face would widen in shock and she'd immediately start making accusations.

"Ms. Mendes please, I can assure you were doing everything within our power to find your son."

Bullshit

"Goodbye Ms. Mendes I promise to keep you updated, have a nice night."

I'm guilt ridden.

It starts slowly till I can feel it seeping into my bones and tormenting every part of me. I might have gone insane then and there, if not for the impeccable driving of Sampson our taxi driver, who'd just pulled into a hotel with a flickering neon sign reading- California Cordiality.

In the backseat I wake up mere, gently shaking her shoulder. Her eyes open and she groans unamused. I leave her be, figuring she's just untested and cranky from the endless traveling.

I tip Sampson and grab our bags from the trunk, following Meredith in.

We get room keys and I trot up two flights of stairs, due to a broken elevator. The minute I turn the key in the lock mere is in the room and asleep on one of the twin beds. Not even bothering to take off her shoes.

I on the other hand am kept awake, despite the tiredness that lays over me, like a heavy blanket. Smothering my movements and keeping me still.

••••••

I feel bad because this took me forever to post and it's still short. I had a much longer and better version of this chapter but it was mistakenly deleted and then I got lazy and didn't want to rewrite it.

Today was an amazing day in history and I'm so happy for all of the couples being married today❤️ Love is love.