a glimmer of hope

17.

Season 5 x 01
Separation Anxiety

it had been two years since i saw quinn.
a lot had changed in the span on then, too.
i mean a lot.
i was engaged now for fucks sake.
i moved back to philadelphia almost four months after quinn had left for syria. that's when i met my fiancé, kory. nothing really felt right anymore in maryland. i say that about a lot of things, but philadelphia was a fresh start. it was me longing for my past again, i guess.
for those four months, i felt like i couldn't live without checking my shadow, without wondering if quinn would come back.
after job interviews, shots of vodka, dates and months going by, i forgot about him. not totally, though.
i flipped myself over in the bed after hearing my phone ring twice. i looked on the nightstand, rubbing my eyes. the clock said it was 2 in the morning.
i sat up in my bed, putting the phone to my ear.
i figured nobody called you multiple times in the night for no good reason.
"hello?" i mumbled, tired
"cass"
my eyes fully opened after hearing that.
"quinn?"
"can you come outside?"
"what?"
"i'm back, cass"
"what the fuck" i groaned, hanging up the phone.
i sat up in bed for a couple of minutes, trying to collect all my thoughts.
eventually, i found myself wrapping my robe around my body, going down the stairs.
at the front door, i slipped on a pair of shoes, closing the outside door behind me.
i looked down the street at an unfamiliar silver truck parked. as i got closer, i saw the plates were from virginia.
a tall figure walked on the other side of it, standing in front of me.
"what the fuck are you doing here, quinn?"
i crossed my arms around my torso.
"i'm back from syria" he shrugged, smirking at me.
"fuck" i scoffed, running a hand through my hair.
i didn't know what to think.
"you're back in philadelphia?"
"it's been two fucking years" i smiled
"i know that" he nodded
i look at him blankly.
"and you're engaged?"
"yeah" i whispered
i stood there and looked at him. i didn't seem real that i was standing here right now.
"i don't know what to say" i smiled
he tilted his head "you came out here for a reason"
"fuck, quinn" i groaned
he stepped closer to me, putting his hands on my face.
"how was syria?" i asked
"not good" he mumbled before kissing me.
i kissed him back.
for awhile.
"come to germany with me" he whispered
"i can't-"
"cass, i want you to come with me"
"quinn" i frowned
"cass, i didn't spend the whole day trying to find you for no rea-"
"quinn"
"just come inside with me"
he shook his head "i can't do that"
"he's in west chester" i whispered, looking up at him.
he nodded his head.
"okay"

a couple days later

quinn left for germany this morning.
i drove myself to work, trying to process what had just happened.
you know, the past two years i spent a lot of time just convincing myself that quinn was dead. just so i'd be able to move on. the thing with quinn is that he always comes creeping back. he's everywhere, always. i should know that. there's something about him and i that i just can't help.
i want him.
i parked my car, closing the door behind me.
"you look like hell" one of my coworkers laughed
i felt like hell, too.
i raised an eyebrow "really?"
"i think i'm just tired"
i opened the door of the ER, letting her in, too.
"i hope today goes easy" i sighed
"maybe, sickness is coming back though" she smirked
"god, don't remind me"
"the other day i saw three sick toddlers"
"at least it's not stomach flu"
"yeah, right, that's coming soon enough" i smiled
"anyway, when's kory coming back?"
"tomorrow" i nodded
fuck, kory is coming back.