a glimmer of hope

23.

Season 5 x 08
All About Allison

i got off the plane and sat at baggage claim, waiting for my bag.
i couldn't even think about what my life had turned into on the ride back here.
i mean, what the fuck.
i was scared to go back home to kory. one thing this trip made me realize was that i didn't love kory.
not even a little bit.
my judgement and thoughts of love was really all covered up by an engagement ring. it was all one big thing to cover up the thought of quinn. i felt bad. really bad, but kory was nothing but a distraction.
i carried my bag off the carousel, wheeling it down the terminals.
——
before i came home, i parked my car at a gas station.
i stood in a public bathroom, listening to my messages.
"it's kory, call me"
"cassandra, can you pick up my shift for the 18th?"
and the last one.
"cass, i know you're still on your flight back home.. i'm sitting in this random truck waiting for god knows what, i'm feeling a lot better but, i miss you"
i let out a sigh.
i took another deep breath, looking at a stick that sat on the sink of the bathroom.
i looked into the mirror and then on it.
positive..
i knew when i didn't get my period for the last month, i was pregnant. i didn't want to admit it to myself, though.
i shoved it in my purse and went out of the bathroom and into my car.
"hey quinn, i hope that you're phone isn't missing or dead"
"and i hope that you're okay"
i let out a breath
"this whole mission thing is kind of scaring me"
"look, i want to keep things real with you"
"so, i found out i'm pregnant"
"give me a call back once you're safe, quinn"
———
it took me a half an hour to go inside my house. the sun had began to rise when i drove on the way here.
i unlocked the door.
"hello?" i heard kory ask
"it's me" i said, letting my bags down at the door.
i felt like i was going to vomit.
"cassandra" he smiled, coming down the hallway.
"you had me worried"
"couldn't get service" i shrugged
lies after lies after lies,
"how are you?"
he shook his head "how's your friend?"
"she's dead" i nodded
he raised his eyebrows.
"i'm so sorry"
all i was saying was lies.
"i don't know if i really wanna talk about it"
"okay" he nodded
i ran my hand through my hair "i'm gonna go unpack"

that night ———

i rolled over in bed, my phone was ringing.
"who's calling?" kory whispered
i rubbed my eyes.
"my sister" i mumbled
i got up and walked down the stairs, running my hand through my hair.
"hello?"
"it's quinn" the voice on the other end said
"hey, quinn" i smiled, walking into the laundry room.
"i got your message"
"yeah" i mumbled
"look, i don't know how long i'll be able to call you for"
"i think things are starting to move along here"
i nodded my head "okay"
"cass, if anything bad happens to me-"
"please" i begged
"cass, of anything bad happens, i want you to know i'm okay with any decision you make about this"
"i'll call you to talk about it when i'm done here"
"okay" i nodded
"i want you to know something"
"what?"
"i love you, cass"
i closed my eyes.
"i love you too, quinn" i said
"god, i love you, too"