a glimmer of hope

32.

Season 6 x 05
Casus Belli

"is the city still on lockdown?"
"doesn't look like it" the nurse shrugged
"we have to get home" quinn said
"cassandra, you've peed, walked around, kept down food"
i nodded my head
"baby has gotten changed and her paper work is done"
she looked up from her notes, smiling.
"looks like you're good to go"
"thank you, nurse"
"look at you, bouncing back to yourself"
"most moms come out of here looking crazy"
"i can't even tell you gave birth" she smiled
"thank you" i smiled
"you too are going to make amazing parents" she added, swinging the door open.
i had the baby carrier with avra in it. quinn had the hospital bag in his hand.
"congratulations, again"
"thank you" quinn nodded
"thank you so much" i added, walking out of the door.
she gave us a wave.
"ready to head home?" i asked quinn
"i don't know" he shrugged
we were in the elevator and the news was playing on the tv. a mob was outside of someone's house.
i squinted my eyes
"hold on" i said, trying to get closer to the screen.
"that's carrie mathison's house"
i remembered it from when we first moved here.
"what?" quinn said
"let's just get home, cass"

three days later ———

for the past three days, i'd gotten maybe three hours of sleep.
my moms package came when i came home from the hospital. her homemade baklava was in it. as i ate it that day, i called her and all of my sisters. they loved avra already.
around 4 in the afternoon, i fell asleep. i woke up at 6 to feed the baby. quinn got her a little before that to change her diaper.
i had just opened my eyes when avra started crying, i noticed that there were sirens coming from outside. the clock said it was 10:43.
i sat up in my bed, rubbing my eye.
although, quinn wasn't beside me. so, i picked up baby girl and tiptoed down the stairs.
"shh" i hushed, bouncing her up and down.
i looked out of the window and saw that the police were right in the middle of our street. there were no lights on in the house and no sign of quinn.
it made me worried.
i slipped on a pair of shoes, wrapping a coat around the baby, looking outside.
what the fuck was going on out here?
that's when i realized, quinn was the one getting arrested.
i approached the officer. the sirens went off but the lights flashed.
"excuse me, officer what's going on here?"
"ma'am-"
"cass" quinn begged. he was being held onto by another officer.
the one in front of me raised an eyebrow "do you know him, ma'am?"
i nodded my head "yes, he lives with me"
"he's your spouse?"
"that's correct"
the baby started whining so, i swayed back and fourth.
"why is he being arrested?"
"ma'am, he was caught trespassing in your neighbours house"
i shook my head "this is really a misunderstanding"
"i don't think so"
"peter quinn is his name"
"he's a injured U.S. soldier"
"he's been paranoid"
"ma'am, we're gonna have to take him in"
"you have to believe me officer, life has been really hard and i'm doing the best i can" i smiled
"but i just had a baby"
i looked like i just had a baby, too.
"ma'am, i still have to take your husband in" he nodded
"fuck" i scoffed
"we'll be at the police station up the road" he reassured.
"can i talk to him before you go?"
"sure" the officer sighed
i stepped closer to quinn, who was inside the cop car, now.
"cass" he sighed
i shook my head "it's not your fault"
"cass"
i put my hand on his face "quinn, it's okay, i'll get you out of there"
"can i say goodbye to avra?"
i nodded my head, peeking her head out from my jacket.
he stroked her hair.
"i'll see you as soon as i can"
the officer put his hand on my shoulder, moving me out of the way.
i stepped back from the scene, standing near the steps of the house.
quinn got driven away in the police car, the flashing lights stopped and the other cars drove off behind him.
i let out a sigh, avra started crying again.
so did i.

at about midnight, i stood in front of the police station. baby girl was sound asleep in her stroller. the police weren't budging.
they wouldn't even let me see him because i wasn't his wife.
i rested my hands against the front desk.
"ma'am, we care and we're trying to cooperate with you right now"
"really? it doesn't seem like you care all that much"
i pointed my finger at him.
"i gave birth three days ago and frankly, i should be home with my newborn right now"
"peter quinn is the father of my child"
"he is a U.S. military soldier who had a stroke 6 months ago"
"a stroke while being on the work force, i might add"
i ran a hand through my hair "he is suffering from major PTSD and all of this is a misconception"
"you have to see that he's paranoid, and i'm only one person trying to help him"
"my best advice for you is to go home and come back in the morning"
"he has medication he needs to take-"
"ma'am, get some sleep and come back"
i looked down at my pyjama pants.
i rolled my eyes "fuck you"
———
sure enough, it was the morning. i sat rocking avra back and forth, dialling my phone.
"hello?"
"carrie, is cassandra"
i ran a hand through my hair, taking a deep breath.
"i know the last time i saw you i practically told you to go fuck yourself"
"and i hope you're okay because i saw you stuck in a mob the other da-"
"what is it, cassandra?"
"i've been up since two in the morning trying to get quinn out of jail"
"what?"
"it's a lot to explain but i have something you'll want to see"
"where can i meet you?" she asked
"i came back home awhile ago"
"i'll be there in ten minutes" she said
"okay" i nodded