a glimmer of hope

35.

Season 6 x 08
alt.truth

i changed avra's diaper, putting a fresh onesie on her. i had showered and changed clothes, fed baby and ate myself. tonight, it'll be two days since i've been in this lake house.
i guess baby and i were getting used to it. that makes avra a little over a week old. she had already changed so much. her first week of life hasn't been the easiest. actually, it's been pretty weird.
i carried her down the stairs when i heard the door open. astrid and peter were going for a walk.
it was just quinn who had came in the house.
"how was your walk?" i smiled
"good"
"astrid's going for a run" he added
i nodded my head.
"it's almost time to feed this little one again" i smiled, rocking the baby back and fourth.
"she's being good?"
"yeah, sleepy"
"i'll be right back, i forgot something in the car last night" he said, backing towards the door
"sure" i nodded
as he went outside, the baby woke up, hungry in my arms.
——
i walked up and down the aisles of the grocery store. when i turned the corner, quinn was eating samples that were displayed out.
"only five per person, pal" a worker told him
"come on, peter" i smiled, hooking his arm.
"i was hungry" he said, defensively.
"that's because you didn't eat much of your breakfast this morning"
it felt good to be out of the house.
the christmas decorations were already up in town, it was even snowing. i guess, life was starting to feel real again.
astrid was checking out, i helped her bag a few things.
"your hands are already full" she reassured
"peter, come help me" she added
he was looking out the window of the store, eventually coming over to help.

the ride back home from the grocery store was really silent. astrid and i both knew something was up with quinn.
when, we got back from the store, astrid and i were both putting away groceries. quinn stood there, thinking.
"who's house is this?" he asked, causing both astrid and i to turn around.
"a friend of dar adals"
"who?"
"i don't know" astrid shrugged
"he didn't tell you?"
"no"
"what did he say when he called you here?"
"he told me you weren't well and needed help"
"and you just came?"
"yes"
"why?"
"because i'm your friend"
"what's wrong, quinn?" i asked
he shook his head
"i want to know who's house this is"
he pointed at astrid.
"and why she's here"
"she's here because she's helping us"
"you should be thankful" i smiled
i continued to put away groceries.
"cass, i need you to drive me somewhere"
"peter, where do you want to go?" astrid asked
"no, i need her to go with me" quinn said
i nodded at her, reassuring that it was okay. although, i wondered why peter was suddenly so suspicious.

peter made me drive back to the motel we passed on the way back home.
i looked at him, he was watching out of the car window.
"wanna tell me what we're doing here?"
"watching"
"for who?"
"the man who lived across the street from us"
"quinn" i sighed
"i know you think i'm crazy, cass but i saw him"
"in the grocery store" he pointed
"and that's why you're accusing astrid of being on some bad side?"
"i can't trust anyone anymore, you know that"
i looked down at my lap.
after ten minutes of waiting, the man pulled into the parking lot.
i watched out my window at the man dressed in a flannel, unlocking his motel door.
"it's not him" peter whispered
——
as soon as i got home, i went upstairs.
"astrid?" i asked
she peeked around the corner.
"you stayed" i smiled, relived
she nodded her head, i moved a piece of hair from out of my face.
"i'm sorry about peter"
"his PTSD has gotten so much worse"
"that's what led us here"
she tilted her head.
"and i want to say thank you"
"really, i don't know where i'd even be without you here and getting him out of that place"
"cassandra" she smiled
"it's okay"
"you're doing all you can"
"i know you want to help"
"and you are"
"he's progressed so much since the last time i saw him"
"peter can't get out of all this, though"
"work?"
she nodded her head.
"now and then he convinces himself he can"
"but he's stuck in it"
"that's what this kind of stuff does to you"
i looked down at my feet "i know"
"i think peter wants to talk to you" i added
she nodded her head, going down the stairs.
"you stayed, astrid" he said
he was standing down in the living room.
"please don't leave"
"we need your help"
she stepped down the last stair.
"you're not the same as you used to be, peter"
"i keep waking up every morning hoping i change back to normal" he smiled
"you understand this is your only option now"
she tilted her head.
"are you going to try and make a life here?"
"i'll try" he whispered
"remember you're not alone, you have cassandra"
"i know"
"do i have you for now?"
"i'm still here, aren't i?" she smiled
"thank you" he whispered
she paused.
"this is when you say something nice to me"
"you're my friend"
she smiled
"a good one"
———
i rocked avra back and forth, setting her down in her bassinet eventually.
astrid and peter were still working things out downstairs.
but, my body jerked back when i heard a gunshot from down there.
i listened at the top of the stairs, closing the baby's door.
"it's okay" i heard astrid say
"you just got grazed" she added
i peeked my head around the corner
"cassandra, hide" astrid said, she was bent down near the floor with peter.
"i'm gonna go get the gun from the car"
"no" quinn shouted
"peter, stay down"
"no there's no-"
peter was trying to find his words but astrid left anyway.
"no, ammu-"
"bullets" he said
i stepped down the stairs
"what the fuck is happening?"
"cass, fucking hide" he said
"don't go out there"
i ran back up the stairs, digging through one of my bags. i pulled out a gun, loading it up.
i heard another gunshot from outside. quinn's scream following.
i looked out the window, he was running toward the water. yet, i still couldn't see who was shooting at us.
i looked at the baby's crib, hoping she was still asleep. there were footsteps downstairs, but then the figure headed back outside.
i closed the bedroom door and held the gun out, stepping down the stairs slowly.
the shooter ran toward quinn, he shot three times. beside the car, i saw a dead astrid, my stomach dropped.
fuck, not astrid.
then, i saw quinn fall into the river.
my eyes widened.
the shooter shot five more times before stepping back, near the driveway.
i hid around the porch of the house.
my heart was racing so fast i could barely think. all i focused on was my breaths quickening.
i turned my body around the corner of the house and held out the gun, shooting him in his back.
he fell on the ground, hitting his head on the car next to him. i gave it another shot. my hands were shaking so badly, but the figure wasn't moving anymore.
"peter" i whispered, my voice was shaking.
i can't believe i just did that.
he had just come out of the water and began stepping close to me.
"cass, we need to get out of here"
as i stepped closer to the shooter, i realized it was the neighbour we had across the street. the one quinn was paranoid about. he looked unconscious and his head was bleeding from hitting it on the car. i dropped the gun on the ground next to the body.
quinn reached for the two guns, shoving them in his pocket.
his forehead was gushing blood as he looked at me blankly, i couldn't make out any words. i just looked at him, stunned.
peter wrapped me in a hug, kissing the top of my head.
"fuck, cass" he said, his breath shaky.
his hand held onto my head as i wrapped my arms around him. i listened to him breathing in and out, quickly.
god, make this end.

a/n: this was by far one of my favourite parts to end. i remember feeling so stunned when i watched this episode of homeland. just like, what the fuck? something about it was so erie, yet amazing how poor quinn could survive though anything. i swear this season he was like a cat with 9 lives. but, let's just give some appreciation for astrid. at first, i wasn't so sure of her, but after this episode especially, i loved her. why did they have to kill her off!! i didn't know how to write cass in this episode at first, but i knew badass mama bear would have to protect her quinn. rip astrid, i'll miss u gal. also, i originally wrote this november and i'm editing two months later (jan) and it feels so good to relive this (posting this in april, reliving it again!!). I HOPE YOU ENJOY AS MUCH AS I DID..
xx