Chapter 4 - Happy pills

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Mon couldn't sleep, she is tossing and turning around on the bed, next to her Little Sam is sleeping in fetal position. Most time she sleeps in that position.
Mon smile looking at her daughter, who is sleeping holding her stuffed penguin. She never leave her penguin.

When Mon had her daughter, her life changed in good way. She got the reason to live and to love.

She know she was too young when she was pregnant, but she choose to keep the baby.

When Mon saw her baby for first time after she was born, she cry a river.
Her daughter looked so lovely, and cute with her chubby cheek. She was a calm baby, hardly cry, never give Mon hard time.

Little Sam is her happy pills. Her daughter has a significant positive impact on her emotions and overall well-being. She never regret sleeping with Sam in her life.

Even it is hard for her to be single mother at young age, without regular income, without much help from others, but she though she nail it.

She smile remembering, mother's day function at her daughter school earlier.

Her heart fluttered, when she saw her daughter moving towards her slowly holding a garland on her little hand. She can't stopped her tears when her daughter kneels in front of her with joined hands and prey to her.

Little Sam is stubborn sometimes, Mon thought from whom her daughter took that trait. But most of time she listen to her mother.

Sometimes Mon worried, will she able to fulfill her daughter needs, when she grow up. Even she can't buy a stuffed toy for her daughter.

Her heart broke to see, tears welling up on her daughter eyes. Little Sam is crazy after penguin stuff. Whenever she saw penguin toy or picture, she asked her Mama to buy it.

Today was like a dream to Mon. Meeting someone, who had a connection through her daughter, who she like, moreover who she love. But never had a chance to say out loud. She already buried the thought of it long time ago.

The person, whom her daughter took her genes.
When she looked at her daughter eye, its like she is looking at two of them. Two Sam, Samanan Anantrakul and Samantha Carter. Mon gave her last name to her daughter.

But hearing Sam's voice, meeting their eyes after long time, she got goosebumps all over her body. She still shivering with the thought of it.

Her mind is going through a lots, thinking what if Sam want to come to their life and want to be part of them.

Will she happily said yes or will she kick her butt out.
In next minute, she think what if Sam already had her own family with whoever she loved.
What If she doesn't want to see them again.

Mon doesn't want to think much about it. She thought she will see and deal with it when time comes.

She shake her head, move towards her daughter and hold her.
Little Sam move a little towards her and snuggling towards her mother.

She doesn't want to play guessing game inside her head, its tiring her body and mind. She just want to live in present with her lovely daughter. So, she closed her eyes and surrender to the night.

After, Sam wake up with her erected penis because she was having sexual dream with Mon, where Mon disappeared under her. She couldn't closed her eyes.

She has been laying on fetal position since 5 in morning.
Even after roaming on her memory land, the memory that never fade. She looked at her phone, its only 6 in the morning.

Again she lay on her back, placing both her hand on her face, want to scream out loud but she doesn't have any energy left on her body. She even skip her lunch and dinner yesterday.

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