The Infinite White

Chapter 47 - Silver Eyes

Holden POV
Alpha Viceras was going home today, taking Cole and Amber with him, and the rest of the pack would be returning, but to what? There hadn't been much life in the house these last week, people barely spoke, patrols were run, training was done, people ate and went to bed and went on with their lives, but I couldn't, I was stuck in this perpetual state of unknown. I didn't know if I was the right fit as Alpha, if the pack would forgive me, if they would look up to me as the leader I promised them I would be. I sat in my office all day, pacing, documenting, contacting other packs, most were less than impressed with the results of what happened at the funeral but life instead of becoming this bountiful haven we all believed it could become under Lily would just return to the way it had always been.
The hunters had left town, they wanted nothing more to do with this place and I didn't blame them, Stephen Simmons lost his life to his son and Taylor had lost both his father and brother in one day, he has taken his sister and left to live with Eric, he said to call him if anything changed but I was unsure if that was going to happen.
I walked out of the office and most of the wolves did a pleasant greeting before moving on with their day, I managed to climb the stairs to the second landing and made my way down the hallway to the two double doors, I was afraid to open them, but I did so anyway. I watched as her chest rose and fell, the machines told me she was still alive, her heart still beating, her brain still functioning but nobody knew why she wasn't awake. Amber and Cole were sitting at her beside, staring so strongly at their slightest change that may indicate her waking up.
    "No change?" I ask even though I know the answer,
    "I was hoping she'd be awake before I left" Amber said,
    "Grams came to visit her just before" Cole spoke, I looked at him expectantly,
    "What did she say?" I didn't want to give myself hope, but Grams and Mr Dexter her father were two people who knew the most about the Wolf history and the spirits.    
    "She had in order to save her Poppy had withdrawn her consciousness so her body was able to focus on healing. It's what saved her life",
    "What?" I didn't understand,
    "Poppy's spirit was able to be passed down from line to line because as she died after decreeing the pack feast upon her, she pulled her consciousness back so that she was able to pass her abilities and spirit down to the one she would awaken within. She did the same to Lily, she grabbed Lily's consciousness and pulled her into the state of limbo which Poppy is also in. Only we're not going to feast on her body and to have their souls passed down through the generations, Gram's visited Poppy because she is more present than Lily is as she needs time to heal. Poppy told Grams that in order to save Lily she needed to do this and only a strong enough force can pull Lily back and that is only if Lily want's to return" Cole explained,
    "And if she doesn't?"
    "Her body will eventually die without a conscious state and Poppy and Lily will fade away".
    "Get out" I tell them,
    "Holden" Amber says my name softly,    
    "Get out" I say louder and she jumps, Cole grabbing her from her chair and pulling her out of the room.
I paced a couple times, the beep of the machines keeping me in time with my thoughts,
    "You're not leaving, do you understand that?" I speak to her as if she can hear me, "I know we're not mates anymore but you have been through too much to just let it all go Lily, I love you, I need you to come back" I quickly sit in the chair Amber was in and look her over, she was so peaceful, but she resembled the old Lily, brown haired Lily, any trace of the Infinite White was gone. As I scanned her face and her breathing chest, I noticed that the mate mark was gone, it hadn't disappeared when she severed our bond so why was it gone now, had the healing state healed all her scars? I started looking her over for her scars and they were all still there so I didn't understand what was happening or how it happened,
    "A Strong enough force" I recited the line that Poppy had told Grams, our mate bond was stronger than anyone's I had ever met, maybe it's strong enough to pull her back, even though Lily destroyed our bond, I am selfish enough to do everything I can to bring her back. I got closer to her neck and extended my canines until they hovered over the skin and slowly sunk them into her skin. When I opened my eyes I wasn't in the room anymore but the desert, the red sand underneath my feet, the air was still,
"Holden" I spin around to find Lily standing beside who I assumed was Poppy,
    "Lily" I whisper before running to her and crushing her to my chest, wrapping my arms so tightly I thought I might crush her, "I thought you were dead, I thought you were going to die in my arms" I cried out,
    "Poppy saved me, I guess if you can call this saving" she tells me,
    "You could call it saving but the depends on what you decide to do next" Poppy speaks, "But I'll let you decide that, I'll leave you too alone, I'll see you later Lily or maybe not" she smirked before disappearing.
    "Do you know what happened?" I ask her,
    "Poppy has explained everything to me, why she did it and the only way I can wake up"
    "I know you broke our bond for a reason, but I had to try, Lily you can't die like this and if I have to live as you mate in name only than so be it but you still have so much to offer the world so much to do for yourself and the wolf packs, you are incredible Lily and you deserve to live your life on your own terms but you need to live first" I tell her and I get confused by the smile on her face.
    "You want me to live, even if it means living without you?" She asks,
    "As much as I'll hate it, as long as your alive in the world and doing what you want to do and Happy" I emphasized, "I'll be happy with that"
    "Okay" I took a step back unsure what I heard,
    "Okay?" I ask,
    "I want to go back, I want to go back with you Holden" I smile and reach for her and as I reach her I'm back in the room. I lift my head wondering if imagined it all, until I see her silver eyes looking back at me.