The Infinite White

Chp. 4 - Missing You

Holdens POV

Lola hummed as she entered my room, her heels clicking against the wooden floor, she was hot, god was she hot. Her short black hair carressed her tanned face and she smiled that sweet smile every time we meet.

That should be Lily. he growled at me, my wolf has been angry at me every since I suggested being a part time mate and has hated me ever since Lily rejected me, us, as her mate. Pushing his voice out of his head I grabbed Lola's hand and pulled her onto my lap, kissing her neck she smelt amazing but not like Lily had. Moans started building in her throat and they slipped passed her lips, moving my hand long her tigh, it reached the hem of her shirt and I yanked it over her head. Flipping her onto her back on my bed, I continued to kiss her neck as her long legs gripped my hips, arcing her hips forcing my little Holden to rub against her mound. Her breath instead of being hot and sweet, stuck to my skin like a dense fog, her voice started to irritate me and nothing was happening down below. Pulling myself off her I sat on the edge of my bed, head in my hands, 

Where is she? I asked him, but he refused to answer me, not that he knew where Lily was any way, she had disappeared a few weeks ago and I have been going insane. 

"Baby, what's the matter?" Lola cooed into my ear as her hands ran up and down my bare chest, her lips where thick and sticky, my wolf growled as her hands travelled lower. Grabbing her wrist I pushed it away, 

"Nothing, you need to leave" I told her, standing up and walking to grab her top, I turned to face her and handed it to her, a look of shock on her face and hunger in her eyes, that look once tipped me over the edge and I could have ripped her clothes off by now but I all I can think of is Lily and if she was ok. 

"Why?" She asked, holding the shirt to her chest, not putting it on in case I changed my mind, 

"Leave" I shouted at her, she jumped off the bed and walked for the stairs, pulling her shirt on she didn't look back.

No one compares to Lily. I yelled throwing my football at the wall and it went through it, collapsing onto my bed I look out my skylight, it's mid-afternoon, the sky dark with rain clouds. 

"I just want her back" I growled at him, 

Then you shouldn't have done that to her. They didn't deserve what you did to them and no we're both paying for your stupid mistakes. All we needed was Lily. 

My mind flew back to the day Lily had caught me and Amber, Stupid Amber! If she hadn't been in such a hurry to lose her fucking virginity this never would have happened. Didn't she know it could wreck her chances of having mate with they found out it was already taken by someone else? Obviously not. 

Now, if Lily does return I can't go anywhere near her, my Alpha ordered me to stay away from her but he knows that even his words don't hold that much power over a mated couple, I didn't mark her and I didn't accept her, I just used her. Now I've been rejected and I never realised that could happen until it did, I never thought she would do that. I must have hurt her so much that she'd rather have nothing to do with them than stay with me. 

"Why am I such an idiot?" 

"Don't ask me" I looked up to see Cooper standing at the top of the stairs, I sighed and stood up, Cooper turned to see the hole in the wall, 

"Whoa, Lola likes it rough" he joked but I didn't smile like I would have and Cooper realised it was one of those days, the days that I remember Lily and the horrible mistake I made, keeping myself entertained with all these other girls is not helping the situation. 

"She still not letting you in?" he asked, even though he already knew the answer, on days that it's quiet I like to try and see if I can reach Lily through our bond but she always has her wall up. 

"She hates me" I whispered, 

"Wouldn't you? What if the role was reversed, that Lily fucked every guy in the school and then you caught her sleeping with your brother? Lily needs time to think and clear her head. Don't worry Bro, she'll come back and when she does, you better work on a way of earning her trust back because being seperated for three months can do some serious damage to your wolves. They might not even want each other anymore" he said stressing the situation.

But that wasn't the case, my wolf wanted his mate now mroe than ever and it grew stronger with each day. But was her wolf the same?

"I'm going for a run, man" walking down the stairs, Cooper following along behind me, 

"Want company?" he asked. 

"No". 

I reach it. The clearing, with soft grass and no canopy, shifting back into my human form I pulled on my track pants I had carried in my mouth and just lay on the grass. This was mine and Lily's spot, I brought her here all the time, the countless times we made love on this grass or skinny dipped in the river. She was perfect, beyond perfect, why did I do that to her? She was the perfect Luna, she was headstrong, stubborn, voiced her own opinion, she's loyal to a fault, beautiful and sexy as hell. But no I was too stupid to realise a good thing when I had it and now she's gone and I'm not sure if I'm ever going to see her again. 

Closing my eyes I picture her, her body, her skin, her beautiful eyes and long dark hair, the way when our skin meets and electricty surges through my body, when one simple kiss from her lips can give me an instant hard on, she was a girl like no other. 

Only thing I can do is hope that she returns and then I'll do everything I can to win her back. 
How I will do that, I have no clue.

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Let me know what you guys think!!!

Is Holden still the bad guy in your eyes?
What do you think he should do to show Lily he's truly sorry?
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Lots of Love xxxxxxxxx