Steps of Courage

Chapter 30

I decided that I had to check all the usual spots one last time. I scanned the campus, hoping to catch sight of him. My anxiety tightened its grip around me as he stayed hidden. 

Come on. Where is he?

I retraced my steps and checked the spots I was at again. I questioned other staff and friends who might have seen him but every person was a dead end. This only intensified the worry and tightened the knot in my stomach. 

I went to the library at the end of the day as my last hope. I searched every corner and bookshelf, hoping to find him waiting somewhere for me to find him. 

"Aiden? Are you here?" I whispered as I searched. 

My questions were left unanswered in the following silence. After searching the entire library. I felt defeated. It was getting dark, I had to leave. I will try again tomorrow. Since it was Saturday the coming up day, I had the whole day to look for him.

Once I got home I was emotionally and physically drained. I tried to think of a plan on how I could find him the next day, and I decided on catching the bus to the lake to search. 

I won't give up. 

I can't.

I looked out the window - it was raining. The uncertainty of where he was was too much for me to bear. As I sat there in the den, my anxiety took full grip. The room started closing in and I felt dizzy again. I lied down to help the dizziness as my mind swirled with thoughts of Aiden. 

Where could he be?

I really hoped he was okay.

The panic started to take over. I clutched at my chest, struggling to breathe. I was gasping for breath as I stared out the window at the rain. Tears began to blur my vision so I closed my eyes. I was trying my hardest to not accept it, but the universe was showing me that reality is that I'll never see him again. 

Then suddenly... the doorbell rang. 

Could it be?

I froze, feeling a mixture of uncertainty and hope. I approached the door, and with each step my hope increased. My heart raced as I stepped up to the door. I reached for the doorknob with one hand, crossing my fingers with the other. Please, please, please. 

I opened the door slowly, not wanting to see who it was... when I heard a voice. 

"It's me."

Aiden! 

My eyes shot open, and filled with tears. He half smiles at me, tears in his eyes as well. 

"You're back." my voice was cracking as the relief washed over me. 

Instead of responding he just pulls me into a hug. I close the door with my foot, without letting go. 

"Why'd you leave?" I whispered, hugging him tighter. 

He rubs my back gently before letting go. He looks at me for a second before smiling slightly. 

"You're wearing my sweatshirt." He laughed a little. 

I laughed with him, but then I went back to my question. 

"I am. But that doesn't answer my question. Why'd you leave? You scared me to death." I said. 

"I can't adjust to being at my mom's, so I didn't go. I ran, but I think you know that." he said, and I laughed gently, "What you don't know is that I didn't know if you'd care if I came back. I'm ashamed about that. I don't quite know what to say, but I'm here and I just wanted you to know that I wished I'd stayed to work it out with you. I didn't want to have to leave you and I have a lot of regrets about doing so. You used to tell me I was brave, but I don't feel that way anymore. I can go anywhere I want Katie. Anywhere I want... just not home. And it was so hard to be anywhere without you. And I missed you every day. And I would talk to you when I got lonely, and I couldn't sleep at night because of all the guilt of leaving you."

"I'm so sorry, I'm not actually sure what to say. I'm just glad you're back. Where are you going to stay while your dad is away? There's no way you're going to your mom's." I say. 

"Well... I have a hideout I've been staying in. I'm not going to mom's house. I'm safer there." he says, smiling. 

"Oh... okay, so you're just telling me where you are before you disappear again? When does your dad come back, and how long do I have to be without you?" I asked, disappointed, I had hoped he was back to stay. 

"Yeah... but... I'm not going back alone." I open my mouth to ask a question and put a finger over my lips to shush me as he continues. "My dad won't be back until Monday morning. Come with me. We can run off just us. No drama, we can escape from all our problems."

He smiles but I'm still unsure. 

"But what do I tell my mom? She'll NEVER let me go." I say.

"Just don't tell her." he says, smiling. "She won't be able to find you, I mean, you couldn't find me."

I was still unsure. 

"Do you trust me?" he asked, taking my hands and looking into my eyes, willing me to come. 

"Yeah, of course." I say. 

"Then let's do this." he says, "You're an adult, she can't stop you. We'll be back by Monday as well, I promise." 

I stared at him for a few seconds, I'm not sure what came over me but something about the way he was looking at me convinced me. 

"Okay, let's do this." I said, smiling. 

"Yes!" he was excited, and then he paused for a moment. "...There's just one small problem... We have to run there, I left my car behind. No traces y'know? And uhm... it's pretty far. We have to go now though, while it's still dark so no one can catch us. Are you still up to it?" 

I went to say no, but I've missed him so much. All I wanted was to go with him, and now is my chance. 

I smiled and nodded before quickly running inside to grab some things. 

I grabbed some clothes and food and stuffed them into a backpack. Then I joined Aiden outside and we left in the dark.