🖤His soul tainted by the devil 🖤was my angel call🤍 KIMCHAY AU 🤍

5. Deep 🌋

It exploded without any chance for a late save relationship. Relationship which wasn't one, if Kim had been explaining to someone. Relationship which wasn't healthy, if he could have said it to someone. Relationship that had a deep influence on him, without him visualizing it. It ended in the corner of a street, on the outside, putting an end to an awful reality, being unbearable for Kim. It looked like a dream falling down, like luck leaving him, like the guilty feeling at its higher level. It was just hurting, painful, and his fault. Fault. Fault. Totally his fault.

–

"Do we have it ? Let me see?" Yok said her tone more serious than ever. She leaning over Chan to look at the screen, at the final project. She got a small giggle. "We have!" She screamed, jumping.

"Though...it is still not accepted by the client... no?" Porchay asked, melting their happiness away.

"Chay! Why saying this?" Chan protested faking cries.

"He is right." Kim just said, looking pale today, his expression dead, calm, but also under tension. They were kinda used to his up and down for some weeks. They were observant but they didn't ask more and Porchay didn't find another excuse to insist on the subject. He was on thin ice, not wanting to destroy their relationship which was friendly but also not wanting to not ask for his wellbeing. He was walking slowly but surely, not jumping into the cold water for now, too scared to freeze inside.

"Yes." Yok confirmed. "But we know, at this point it would be details to change, they already went through the structure."

"So! We ended our first project all together!" Chan said, clapping in his hands. "Phi, Phi, can't we go tonight?"

"It's not friday..."

"But Phi! It's our first project with Chay..." He pouted.

"What are you talking about ?" Porchay asked, lost between their words.

"Eating together. We often do this." Chan said in a pleasing voice.

Yok sighed loudly, she looked at them and put her hands in the air. "Okay, okay, but be ready to go to a familial place because I have no one to keep my son."

"Yes. That's a win! Right guys?"

Porchay got looked at but he directly looked at Kim who had kept silent. "P'Kim, will you go with us?"

Kim had a small, really tiny smile, before nodding. He had hesitated since the beginning of their conversation, he wasn't in a situation to go eat, and yet he said yes. He didn't want to stay alone, this time, he just followed the flow, thinking that what should happen, would happen. He was acting in the most natural way because if he was just behaving normally, he hoped that the normal exchange in their relationship would come back too. It was pretending until it would finally reach him, even if his hands were, if someone was attentive enough, shaking an abnormally amount.

—

"Phi!" A young boy said running to Chan, and hugging his legs.

"Hi! Mark! How are you, boy?" He asked, carrying him in his arms.

"Oh P'Kim!" He also said waving at him. "You got a new friend?" He asked, looking intensely at Porchay who came to him.

"Hi, I am Porchay, nice to meet you." He smiled softly with reassurance.

"Oh...mom mom! Your friend is Bambi?" He asked, clapping his hands.

Kim was the one to puff first, followed by Chan's loud laugh. "Mark! Don't say this..." Yok said, taking him in her arms.

"It's okay I love this..." Porchay giggled sweetly.

"And...he isn't wrong..." Kim added, still observing Porchay who hid behind his hands. It often was weird for Chan and Yok to see Kim being less awkward around Porchay than those he knew beforehand. They weren't jealous, just admiring how Porchay's personality was clicking with Kim whose own seemed to always stay away from everyone. Kim was cold, most of the time, with them, but friendly cold. He had different levels and they could feel that they weren't at the worst level.

They were even high in it, they just had to understand how his heart was loving and it was obvious. Though Porchay could come to their level pretty rapidly. It had no explanation. It was just like this, some natural relationships were just blooming better in some soils and Porchay's one was really efficient. It was cheerful for Chan and Yok to see Kim like this, he was relaxed with them but when Porchay was around his whole soul looked soothed, and it had nothing to do with what he did, it had to do about with who he naturally was to the point to harmonize easily with who Kim naturally was too.

—

Kim was relieved that Porchay was here. For his long life, he would also be thankful for that evening which helped open the door of rationality again, a door he might have let closed, not talking about it to anyone after everything.

"Mark...what's this?" Chan said imitating animals with the shadows created by the lights in their room.

"Butterfly!"

"And this?"

"I really feel like having two children now..." Yok said, judging him but in a friendly way, she still smiled. Porchay too. Eating cheerfully. Mark being the center of their attention. Though Kim's one got trapped inside of his phone ringing. His eyes began to tremble seeing the video call, he excused himself, collided his body with the door, being clumsy before going outside. They all looked at each other, wondering what was his sudden change and what was that fear in his voice.

How could he have hidden it all day, since the beginning of it and until their dinner? Why was it exploding now? In front of them. What was this terrifying call? They all kept observing everyone, not understanding, only Mark's laugh because Kim had collided with the door, made them stop contemplating each other. The childish comedic relief made them laugh too. True, the door and they remembered how easy it was to not always be worried about everything when they were this young, unaware of the world, unaware of reality if the child was taken care of by a caring, loving and protective family. Yok was all of this for Mark. They suddenly were nostalgic of this, before trying to get back to the reality that would be Mark's one day. "Baby...maybe Kim got hurt by it, you shouldn't laugh..." She gently said, caressing his hair.

"But mom...he didn't say ouch..." He pouted not really understanding. It wasn't like his animated friends on television.

"We can feel pain but not say it baby, though before you can ask if they are okay and after laugh if everything is alright."

"Oh!" He said in a cute and naive voice. "I will ask P'Kim then!"

Yok smiled more, admiring her little boy. But he wouldn't have the chance to ask him.

-

Kim didn't come back after a moment. They were all waiting for him. It was getting long, so long. "Chay, you better go see." Chan finally said.

"Wh-why?" Porchay answered, he wanted to but didn't quite feel legitimate for this, he needed to hear words to push him to Kim, to assure him that he was doing the thing he needed to do.

"I think too Chay..." Yok added. "You already walked after him before..."

It looked logical. He walked again. Walked outside. He didn't see him. Turned his head right and left, and didn't see him. Walking further to the right didn't see him. Walking to the left, he didn't see him but he spotted a shadow near garbage. The street wasn't really one, it was closed by a building. It looked for now like a deep and terrifying hole. He walked closer, closer, to find Kim leaning against the big Green garbage of the place, kneeling on the ground, his head hiding by his hair. Porchay got on his knees too, moving his hair a little. "P'Kim?"

He didn't react, his eyes were red, it looked like he cried but it ended. He cried, his nose being a sweet pink, the color different from the feeling. From the sorrow and devastation Porchay could see in his eyes. He didn't need to talk or to physically scream in loud sobs for Porchay to understand that he was breaking down, deeply mourning something that disappeared, in the deep shadowed street.