Communication - Hayley Williams

Roots - chapter 19.

„Anyu/Mom?" Was all I could choke out before I felt the dizziness return. What does she want from me? And why is she calling me right now? Or... at all.

„Kriszti napok óta próbállak elérni. Hol vagy?/Christie, I've been trying to call you for days. Where are you?" She asked in a cold voice. She didn't even try to sugar coat it. Typical.

„Uhm, jelenleg külföldön vagyok, éppen a tézisemet írom. Miért hívtál?/Uhm, I'm abroad, trying to write my thesis. Why did you call me?" I asked, trying to get to the point. There must be a reason why she is reaching out to me. She doesn't care about me unless she want's something. I felt my palms become sweaty again but at the same time I was cold.

„Külföldön? És nem is szóltál? Egyáltalán miből finanszírozod? Ha ennyire sok pénzed van, nekünk is adhatnál!/Abroad? And you didn't even tell us? How do you even have the money for that? If you have that much money, you should give some to us as well" she said, her voice sounding acidic.

„Minden pénzem elfogyott már/I don't have any money left" I said as I felt my throat hurt. Tears started to spill down on my cheeks. Why is she doing this to me?

„Hah. Tudtam hogy senki vagy. Mindenesetre szép kis showt csináltál, te kis buzi. Láttam a képeket. Soha többet nem akarlak látni, újra szégyent hoztál ránk. Soha ne gyere haza. Maradj a kis kurváddal!/ Hah. I knew you were no one. Anyways you did put out a great show, you little f@ggot. I saw the pictures. I never wanna see you again, you brought shame to our name. You aren't welcome home anymore. Stay with you little whore!" She said, slowly. My mind was fogging up and I felt like I could vomit. First she wanted to squeeze money out of me and now she calls me slurs. I felt 16 again. I hate that she has this power over me.

For a moment no words came out of my mouth. My eyes searched Hayley, but she was busy typing her statement. My mother continued.

„Te csak egy dologhoz értesz - káoszt okozni! Remélem úgy elrontja a ribancod az életed, mint ahogy te a miénket! Remélem tudja, hogy nyomorék leszel! Majd akkor elhagy és egyedül maradsz, te buzi!/You only know one thing - causing chaos! I hope you little bitch will ruin your life like you did ruin ours! I hope she knows that you are going to be a cripple! And then she will leave you, you f@g!" She yelled coldly. I felt like the walls were closing around me. I couldn't say anything as I heard that the line went silent. She hang up on me.

I silently put down my phone and laid down. I hugged my knees as I cried quietly. I didn't want the others to hear me. I already caused enough distress tonight.

A little bit later I could calm down finally. I wasn't crying anymore, I was just staring blankly at the wall. Then I heard shuffling and light footsteps coming closer to my bunk. Hayley.

My body tensed immediately. I wasn't up to talking right now. If I had to tell her what happened  I would just start crying again. I didn't want Hayley to console me again. She was tired and stressed and I didn't want to be a burden to her. So I just acted like I fell asleep.

She stopped by my bunk and let out a quiet exhale. I heard some shuffling and I felt the bed dip. She brushed her fingers through my hair softly, then touched my face. As soon as she felt the remainings of my crying on my cheeks, her hand froze. My body tensed up immediately.

Her fingers left my face and for a moment she didn't move at all. After a couple of moments of hesitation she slowly got up. Then it clicked in my brain. She thought I was crying because of her.

„Várj/Wait" I said hoarsely.

She didn't say anything and didn't sit down either.

„Stay. Please" was all I could muster then felt her sit down on my bed. She didn't say a word as she laid down next to me. All she did was pull the curtain. She didn't touch me either. I turned around slowly.