Shiddat

twenty two'

Authors pov

It's been 5 years since she left with her Mamu and brother without even taking a stand for me.

Without even telling our relation to them.

Earlier, I cried every night because it's not just lust anymore; my heart started loving her, but the irony is she is not here so I can confess my feelings to her and tell her how much I love her.

I am lying on my bed with her nikaah shawl on my face; this piece of cloth still has her scent, and it helps me to spend my sleepless and weeping nights.

I know I did wrong to her; I manipulated her mind and body, but the emotions I felt for her are out of this world.

I close my eyes, sighing, and leave my bed to pray tahajjud.

Strange, right? How could a man like me, who didn't believe in Allah Almighty, now be praying tahajjud?

It's my love for her that changes me. She believes in Allah so much, so after she left, I cried, cried, and cried. I have no one to share my sorrow, my pain, so in loneliness, I started sharing my pain with Allah Ta'ala, and guess what? It gives me hope to live.

I cried while praying because of remembering all my sins which I've done, some unknowingly and some knowingly, which I am ashamed of.

Her pure soul makes me turn to Allah.

After completing my namaz, I get up and lay down on the bed with her shawl.

I will turn 37 this month, so Baba Jaan and Taniya are both forcing me to get married, but only Allah knows my heart.

Yeah, Taniya, she is getting married this week. She is really happy because being a sister of an awful person like me is a big achievement that a family actually accepted her with the past.

But she misses Rubab every day. But she knows the truth behind our marriage and her chances of coming back , so she also wants me to get married and settled down.

Rubab, I think she is not my destiny, as Allah says in the Quran that pure men are for pure women, and impure men are for impure women.

And unfortunately, I am the impure one.

**

"Rubab, you're about to turn 22, so why are you rejecting all those rishtas?" Anam yelled furiously.

And her fury is obvious because Rubab has literally rejected countless proposals in these past 5 years.

"Khala...I don't want to get married this early," she said, trying to hide her tears.

But Sunidhi and Anam know something is wrong with her. She's not as cheerful as she used to be, and her interest in Syria and Afghanistan has increased, which they didn't notice before because she's fond of traveling to different countries. But she has lost her spark, which concerns both Anam and Sunidhi.

Many times they've tried to ask her if something happened to her, but she only says she can't forget how Ranvijay forced himself on her.

"Bachcha...koi wajah bhi to bataye aap? Yakeen maano, wo bahut achha ladka hai," Anam spoke politely, trying to convince her.

And that's when she can't control her tears anymore.

A pool of tears comes to her green orbs, making Sunidhi and Anam worried.

Sunidhi encages her in her embrace and pats her back to calm her down.

"Bachcha...kyon ro rahi ho?" Sunidhi asked.

She started crying more with hiccups.

"Khala ki jaan, kya hua?" Anam asked, trailing her hand on her head.

"Mujhe shadi nahi karni," she spoke between hiccups, still pressed to Sunidhi's chest.

"Isme itna rone wali kya baat hai? Hum mana kar dete hain is rishte ko," Anam said, consoling her.

Her heart Stop pumping blood each time she think of another man who is not taha.

""

Rubab sat in her room with a sour mood,

"Why don't you ever contact me, Taha?" she whispered, tears welling in her eyes.

"Did you forget about me?" she cried out louder.

Her crying session was interrupted by the pop-up sound on her iPod.

At first, she ignored it, but then a continuous stream of emails started flooding her mailbox.

Wiping her tears, she clicked on her iPod and, as she read the email, her breath hitched for a moment; she felt like she was daydreaming.

" Assalam o alaikum bhabhi... bahot himmat kar ke aapko ye email bhej Rahi hoon, pata nahi aapko main yaad hoon ya nahi, lekin mujhe aap yaad hain aur roz yaad aati hain."

She frowned upon seeing the incomplete email, but upon reading the word "bhabhi," she knew it was from Taniya. However, why was Taniya contacting her after 5 years? And how did she get her email? Did Taha intentionally never contact her?

How could he? She had left him without even trying to explain everything to Abraham and Dishaan.

But only she knew why she did that.

She immediately opened another email.

"Bhabhi... is hafte meri shadi hai. Main chahti hoon ki aap is khaas mauke par mere saath rahein. Pata nahi aap aayengi ya nahi, lekin please ajaiye."

Again an incomplete email.

She hurriedly opened a third email.

"11 February ko meri shadi hai bhabhi, please, aap to janti hain aapke siwa meri koi family mein koi ladki nahi hai. Please meri khushi ke liye."

Rubab cried upon reading that email, which meant Taha hadn't gotten married to anyone?

She opened a fourth email.

"Please bhabhi please come, come for me, come for Taha bhai..."

Reading his name, tears gathered in her green eyes.

She opened a fifth email, which shook her to the core.

"Address - Reyhanli"

Reyhanli?" she whispered to herself.

"They are in Turkey?"

She wiped her happy tears and immediately went to Abraham's room.

"Mamu," she said.

"Ji, Mamu ki zindagi," he replied, looking at her happy face. He witnessed genuine happiness on her face after 5 years.

"I want to go to Reyhanli," she said, looking at him.

"Reyhanli? Suddenly?" he asked.

"Yeah, actually, my friend is getting married this week. I just got her email. Should I go tomorrow?" she asked, excited.

He chuckled, seeing his cheerful niece back.

"Of course..." but he said.

Her smile vanished.

"Take Afshaan with you," he said, mentioning Anam's son.

She smiled upon hearing it because all four of her cousins knew her secret that she is married, so she agreed.

Returning to her room, she whispered happily, "I am coming, Taha Aasif."

*******