The transmigrated villain has a plan

Chapter X

Thierry was getting back on the plane for another 20h flight when his phone started to buzz. Again and again. He looked at it and saw the thousand pictures Nate sent from that afternoon. He put his cellphone away to store his baggage, and sat down. Ordered a double espresso cause he was almost falling asleep after 48h awaken, and he still had a report to finish. Overworking held no meaning in his vocabulary. While drinking the caffeine, Thierry opened up the photos again, this time going attentively through all of them. He wished he could be there, and it pained him not to be there at this moment. But he chose this path and now had to deal with the consequences.

"They look happy", he whispered to himself.

Many photos had Cael in them. Collin and him fixing the bike, him teaching Killian how to ride, them enjoying ice cream. From the photos, they seemed to be enjoying themselves and Cael looked like a good father. Maybe he was wrong, and maybe he could be a good parent. Maybe the kids would like him. Something hurt him inside when he thought that. Perhaps it was some jealousy, for seeing them together and enjoying that bonding time. Or the pain of missing this crucial and formative moment of the kids.

He kept looking at the pictures, but everytime he saw Cael on them, that pain came back. It took him a while to realize it was guilt. Because everytime he felt bad for missing that important moment, he comforted himself thinking at least I have these pictures. But then he looked at that dark-haired man and thought, did I even show him the pictures? And he promptly answered, No, I didn't. Not even that.

Even if he had his reasons to do what he did, even if he believed, now, that it was the right decision, that man lost three years of the life of those kids. Three years that he will never get back. Three formative years that will be important for the rest of their lives. He couldn't imagine being three years away from his kids, his beloved sons, not even knowing that they exist. And when you finally find them, they already have a family where you're not included. And when you finally meet they run away from you, scared.

"What have I done?", he whispered, laying on the chair, his eyes closed and his hand over his eyes.

That family he created was a mess. He didn't blame Dev for it. He couldn't. The man has been nothing but helpful, and he loved the boys as if they were his. If it wasn't for him, they might not even be here today. They probably wouldn't. And he still depended so much on him even for daily stuff. If he could go back to the past, he wouldn't say no to his help. He wouldn't say no when he asked to be the kids father, he earned that place. But that situation still hurt someone, and it was his fault. And his only. Thierry Bélanger's fault.

He was the one who left and never told him about the kids. If Dev hadn't convinced him otherwise, he still wouldn't have talked to him about it and would have kept them away. The only one who should take responsibility for all the mess they were having to deal with was him.

"Argh", He exclaimed, his hand still covering his eyes. He could feel a migraine coming. Partially from stress, partially from guilt and a great deal from spending forty-eight hours working non-stop without sleep. At least those sleepless hours provided him with a needed epiphany.

"I have to talk to Cael", he told himself. "And I have to sleep. Urgently".

His eyes felt like melting in their orbits. It felt like a stone crusher was hammering his skull.

"And I need to find the twins' baby albums". He closed the table and gave the flight attendant the empty glass. He grabbed a pillow and reclined his seat. "I'll leave the report for later". He laid down and slept.

***

"Mommy!", the twins screamed as soon as they saw Thierry in the airport.

"Come here babies!", he called them. They came running and hugged Thi.

Dev came and kissed Thi, welcoming him, while the twins covered their eyes and pretended to look away. They went to the car and Dev helped Thi with his baggage. The trip from the airport to the apartment lasted almost an hour. In the first ten minutes, the kids fell asleep. Thi looked back at them in deep slumber and smiled a bittersweet smile. Those two were the light of his life and the reason for everything. All the time, he was thinking about them. In every little thing he did, he put them first. Still, how much has he hurt them and how much will he hurt them? How many mistakes did he make? How many of his decisions were the wrong ones?

"Do you know where the twins' baby pictures are?", Thi asked.

"Hmm... I think they are in the guest room closet. I was organizing everything and left them there. Why?" Dev answered.

"I'm going to take them to work tomorrow". He stopped and swallowed dry, all the guilt consuming him. "I'm going to show them to Cael".

"I think it's a good idea".

"Thank you". Dev's support was what made it possible for him to face this situation. But was it fair to him? He was the one who tangled the knots of that chaotic family. Dev, had the choice to take part in it or not. He had the right to his own life not having to deal with this mess. "Are you happy?"

"Why do you ask?", Dev said, confused.

"I created this mess, and somehow made you a part of this. Even our relationship is a complete mess. Don't you think you deserve something better than this vague situation? We've been together for three years, still we're the same as when we started. You deserve a life, a family, something you could say: that's mine. That's my house, my husband, my life. Not some tangled relationship that has no future. I'm not saying I'm not grateful for everything you did. I don't want to be an ungrateful brat. I just don't think it's fair to you. It's just... too much. All this. Raising the kids, dealing with Cael, trying to make this all work. And I just feel... guilty. For everything. My decisions, making you take part in it, hurting everyone in my way just to get things the way I want them. I just feel lost. And I don't want to drag you down with me".

Dev just waited in silence as Thi rambled. When he finally found an open store with a safe parking lot, he parked the car. He then looked at Thierry who stopped talking, wondering why they parked there. He smiled and held Thierry's hand. He kissed them lightly and looked at the guy for a few seconds.

"Don't take away my choices. Don't take away my responsibilities. If you're guilty, I'm an accomplice. I've always been your accomplice. Every step of this way, I took by myself. I'm an adult and I made my own choices that culminated into this mess. And I chose to be with you in it". Thierry let a tear fall and Dev dried it. "And I'm sorry. I'm also at fault for this vague state in which our relationship is right now". Dev laughed, trying to break the tension. "But I promise to build it together with you, whatever you choose. I just don't want to be away from you. So, please, let me take my faults, my responsibilities and my feelings and stay with you".

Thierry smiled and kissed Dev.

"I want to be with you too". He kissed him again, a long and truthful kiss.

"We can go slowly deciding what this relationship will be", He said between a kiss. "And mold it to make it our own".

"Yeah", He answered.

For a moment, they forgot the kids in the back seat, but a groan from Collin woke them up. They laughed and Dev turned on the car again. That night left them longing for more, and not only physically.