Red Lighter ✧ John Murphy

IV - Sacrifice

June 26th, 2015

*Sniffle*... Excuse me while I go cry.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Chapter Four

I had just reached the bottom of the ladder when I heard Clarke scream Finn's name. What had he done? Or, is he dead? Had the grounders gotten to him?

I ran out to the entrance of the drop ship, my eyes widening when I saw Finn standing in the middle of the front gate, his hands up in a gesture of surrender. He was giving himself up to save us.

I wanted to stop him, but I was too late. By the time I had taken a single step forwards, the grounders had appeared and grabbed Finn, screaming something in their foreign language that I couldn't understand.

"Finn!" I shouted, darting forwards to go after them when I felt Murphy's hand wrap around my wrist. I spun around to face him, attempting at ripping my wrist out of his clutch, but he wouldn't budge. "Let go, Murphy!"

He didn't say no or shake his head, instead he just yanked me back. I hit his chest, and tried to get away from him, but he just held me still. He was doing everything he could to stop me from going for Finn.

"I have to follow them!" I yelled, hitting my fists against his chest.

"If you do, they'll kill you too!" He yelled back, putting his hands on my biceps and holding me still. "Believe me, I know that better than anyone."

I clenched my jaws together, the sadness and pure defeat taking over me as I realized what was happening. He was getting farther and farther away... They would kill him. They would make him pay for what he had done. For what he had caused at the village.

I didn't try hard enough to stop him. This could have all been prevented if I had just knocked him out, or killed him right then and there. But I couldn't.

"I could've stopped him, Murphy," I felt my eyes begin to moisten. "He's going to die because of me."

He furrowed his eyebrows together. "What the hell are you talking about? No, it's not your fault. None of this is your fault."

"But what if it is?" I bit my lip, and his palms moved from my biceps to my hands.

He swallowed, glancing down at the ground before looking back up into my eyes. "Then we're both guilty."

*

We stood at the fence, watching as the grounder's came by the thousands. They drove a pole into the ground, and I soon realized exactly what was going to happen. And it appeared that Clarke did too.

"It's for Finn," she whispered. "They want us to watch."

"We're going to get him," Bellamy stated. "We'll get in close, and we'll hit 'em hard."

"Son," Kane said, the sadness in his voice becoming evident. "There's thousands out there. Even if we could kill hundreds, they'd still wipe out this camp and your friend would still die."

"We have to try," he argued.

I bit my lip, shaking my head as I looked down at the ground while Raven begged for Abby to do something. I saw Clarke, Raven, and Bellamy leave to go to the gate. Raven and Bellamy soon returned, looking more distraught than they were before.

And then I saw her. Clarke. She was walking towards the grounder's. She was going to the commander.

"She's going to get herself killed," I whispered, turning to go and walk towards the gate. I had to stop her.

"You can't," I heard Murphy say from beside me. "The grounder's will kill you the second that you walk out there."

I swallowed, the tears still forming in my eyes. "We all have to die some day, Murphy."

He shook his head at me, then reached down and took my hand in his. "Today isn't the day."

"What is she doing?" I heard Abby whisper from beside us.

I glanced over at her before looking back out towards Clarke. She was with him. She kissed him before she pulled away, and I knew. Before it even happened, I knew.

Clarke was merciful. She was going to kill him so that he didn't have to feel the pain of the grounder's doing it.

And the second that she pulled away, I knew I was right. Finn fell limp against the ropes that held him to the pole, the blood soaking his shirt and turning it a dark red colour. Clarke began to walk away from him, then froze. Even from far away, I could see the pained expression on her face as the tears streaked down her cheeks. Raven's screams sliced through the air like a knife through butter. She sank to the ground, Bellamy being the only thing that held her up.

I couldn't take it anymore. I slowly removed my hand from Murphy's, instantly missing the warmth and comfort that it brought me. I walked through the stunned and frozen crowd as fast as I could, refusing to let anyone see me cry for the man that nearly took my life.

I kept walking until I reached an uninhabited part of the camp, and that was when I broke down completely. I didn't know why Finn's death was effecting me this much, but I hated it. Jesus christ, he shot me! Shouldn't I hate him for it?!

"Ven," I heard him call from behind me. I didn't turn to face him, but I heard his footsteps behind me. "Are you-" He cut himself off when he was beside me.

"I'm fine."

"Bullshit. You're broken up about this. Why? What's wrong?" He was determined to find out, that's for sure.

"He's dead, Murphy! Why wouldn't I be upset?!"

"Because. He shot you."

"That's the part I can't figure out. I don't understand why I'm so upset about this..."

He didn't say anything for a moment, then spoke. "Maybe it's because you aren't a killer."

I scoffed, shaking my head. "I've killed many people."

"That doesn't make you a killer. A killer is someone that murders without feeling bad about it. You obviously do. You protect those that you love. That's the only reason why you kill. You're not meant to hurt people, Ven." He whispered the last part, and I bit my lip.

"Neither are you."

His lips parted, and he didn't say a word. So, I walked forwards, wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling him into a tight hug. He was stunned at first, but then put his arms around me and pulled me close.

"We are both innocents, Murphy. We were pushed into this life," I whispered.

He nodded slowly, then began to hold me tighter. And that was all I needed to make it through the night.