Red Lighter ✧ John Murphy

XXV - I Wish I Lost

September 30th, 2015

Hey hey hey. :) 

Bye bye bye. :)

____________________________________________________________________________________

Chapter Twenty-Five

It felt like weeks had passed before we really figured out how to use that damned radio. It was so complicated, so different compared to the ones that Raven had made, or the ones that Camp Jaha had. But one day, I heard something.

"Murphy!" I called out.

"Yeah?" he said, appearing at the doorway with a plate full of some toast, one of the few things he could make on his own. "Hey, I made some breakfa-"

He cut himself off when he heard it, his mouth falling open. It was faint, but it was there. Something other than static. A voice on the other end of the radio, which seemed to be repeating the same words over and over again.

"This is... Of the... Need us... Contact..."

Those were the only words I could make out. But it was something. I played around with the seven tuning dials, making sure that the channel was specified. I kept on going, making sure to be ever so delicate in doing so.

Murphy walked over to me, placing the plate down onto the table and leaning over my shoulder. "What do you think it is?"

"Well..." I bit my lip. "It could be whatever sent that drone, something else, or the ark. I'm hoping the latter."

"Me too..." he muttered.

I looked up at him, my brow furrowed. "I thought that you didn't want to find them?"

"Well, I..."

"Why did you change your mind?" I asked him.

He sighed. "I changed my mind because I know how much you want to talk to Bellamy again."

I was confused, to say the least. But I decided not to question him any further, and began to turn the dials a little more. And finally, it was almost clear.

"This is Camp Jaha of the Ark. If any of our people need us, please contact us."

"Yes!" I screamed from joy, jumping up from the excitement. "We did it!"

He grinned from seeing me so happy, then wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. When I pulled back, his smile had softened a little. "So what do we do now?"

I smiled before sitting back down, grabbing the radio microphone and pressing the button to speak. "Hello?" I said, trying to make sure that it wasn't just a loop. That someone was actually listening.

My heartbeat was erratic, and with the nervous look that Murphy gave me, I could tell that he knew.

"Is anyone there?" I asked.

The message suddenly cut off right in the middle, after the word "need".

I was about to say hello, when a voice came on. "This is Sinclair of Camp Jaha. Who is this?"

"Oh my god..." I whispered. It really was him, I knew that voice. I had met him with Abby before I left the camp. "Sinclair, it's Venus Bartone!"

"Venus...?" he whispered.

"Yeah, it's me," I said, almost feeling tears coming to my eyes. "I'm with John Murphy."

"What about the others?"

"The... others..." I whispered, biting my lip. I didn't know what to tell him. Richards, Craig, Jakob, Jaha... Three of those four were gone, and the other had ran off chasing a drone like a mad man. "They're gone."

He was quiet for a second. "Even Thelonius?"

"I don't know. He left us. But the others... They died," I told him.

He stayed quiet for a second, then spoke. "Where are you? How are you talking to us right now?"

I was a little broken up as I remembered what had happened, and Murphy put his hand over mine. "It's okay, I can talk to them. You go get something to drink."

I nodded slowly to him. "Thank you, Murphy."

He smiled softly. "No problem."

I got up and went to the kitchen, heading straight to the whiskey instead of the tap. The whiskey would help take the edge off, and making help to get rid of the knot that formed in my chest as I thought of the other people who had died in their attempts to get to this promised land. I drank a few shots of it, then leaned against the counter for a minute or so before I heard him call my name.

"Ven, you might wanna get in here!" Murphy said to me. I went to the room, and stood at the doorway when Murphy smiled at me. He stood up and went over to me. "Someone wants to talk to you."

He went past me, and I looked at the radio nervously before slowly walking over to it. I sat down, and pulled the microphone up to my mouth. "Hello?"

The person on the other line was completely silent, before their cracked and strained voice came over the radio. "Ven?"

"Bellamy?" I whispered, the tears that had threatened to leave my eyes now falling down my cheeks. "Is that you?"

"Y-Yeah. It's me," he replied.

"Who else is there?" I asked, smiling widely.

"No one," he told me. "It's just us."

"God, I miss you," I whispered.

"I miss you too," he replied. I could tell that, like me, he was having trouble speaking too. His voice was cracking too.

"Bell, I'm sorry, I should have said goodbye, but Murphy and Jaha were leaving, and I..." I didn't know what else to tell him.

"Don't be sorry. You're fine, and we are too. Everything is gonna be alright."

"Bellamy... What happened when we left?"

"We killed them," Bellamy said, his voice cracking even more as he took in shaky breaths. "We killed them all, Ven. And now Clarke is gone because she couldn't take it anymore."

I didn't know what to tell him. How could I help him after that? I went through the same thing with the six grounders I killed, but that was nowhere near the amount of people that are now gone because of him.

"Bellamy, it isn't your fault," I told him. "They could have joined with us instead of hurting our people. But they didn't, and this was the aftermath. You won, Bellamy. You did it."

"If this is what winning feels like..." he whispered. "Then I wish I lost."

"It's gonna be okay, Bell. It's all gonna be okay," I said.

But even I knew that was a lie.