Red Lighter ✧ John Murphy

XX - You'll Always Be The One

August 23rd, 2015

THE WATTYS START TOMORROW OMFG I'M SO EXCITED 

I will love you guys forever if you decide to vote for Skyfall, but y'know. :) I'll still love all of ya if you don't. 

And guys... I am VERY sorry about this chapter. I wrote it literally more than four months ago, and I know it sucks. But just bear with me. :') I'm kinda coming up with all of this myself, since I'm not following a plotline, 'cause, well... You know... THERE ISN'T ONE UNTIL JANUARY!!!! 

Okay. I'm calm. I'm calm.

I'm sorry for the heart attacks that may occur. :')

The song for this chapter is Kurt Hugo Schneider, MAX, and Alyson's cover of "I Want You To Know" by Zedd and Selena Gomez. :)

Enjoy!

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Chapter Twenty

I was confused to say the least.

I didn't know what to say to him. What to do around him. Suddenly, I was nervous and unsure about every single little thing I did around the guy. Why? I wasn't completely sure.

I need to realize that I'm not bullet proof. I have feelings just like everyone else, and the feelings that I have for this person in front of me are stronger than anything I have ever felt before. So why am I so afraid to confront him about what he said, and tell him how I really feel?

So many questions that I couldn't get out of my head.

It had been more than three days since he had told me that he loved me, and I had stayed away from him for a while. He had definitely noticed that I was disconnected. He could see it. And it was true.

I didn't know why, but I had so many thoughts and memories that I was now rerunning in my head. He had done so much for me, made such an effort, and I had barely even realized it. And how had I repayed him? With an chunk ripped out of his arm because he chose my life over Richards'.

It seemed that Murphy had had enough of my mood, because one of the days when I had been laying down in the bedroom, he decided that he should suddenly barge in and ask me.

"Okay," I heard Murphy say from beside me. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I sighed, laying down on the bed and setting my glass down on the bedside table. I stared up at the ceiling in complete silence.

I felt Murphy sit down on the bed beside my legs, and he looked over at me quietly before he spoke. "You're an awful liar. You do know that, right?"

I was going to say that he was the only one who thought so, but just nodded in reply.

"Come on, Ven... You gotta tell me. It drives me nuts to see you like this."

"Like what?"

"Sad. Depressed. Anything along those lines. Now will you please just tell me what's wrong?"

I bit my lip, unsure of what I should say to him. Or, better yet, what I could say. I finally found the right words.

"I... I'm sorry," I said, and he furrowed his eyebrows.

"For what?" He asked, chuckling. "What do you feel sorry for when we're in a place like this?" He asked me, gesturing around us.

"I..." I didn't know what to say. "I made you choose."