when i was younger my grandma gave me a plant
a new growth, just a tiny little thing
and i held with me in my lap on the car ride home
i don't remember how but i broke it
i broke it's stem
i think most kids would have taken that as a lesson
to be more gentle
i think they'd have learned and then thrown it away
but i held on instead
i used scotch tape when i got home
to try and put it back together
and for days i tried to water it
despite the fact that it was rotting and dead
i continued to pour into it after i'd already destroyed it
i do that don't i?
i don't learn from my mistakes
i feed them
i water them
i watch them fall apart in front of my eyes
until it's just another mess i have to clean up
until it's shriveled and moldy
and i have to use gloves to pick it up
isn't it funny the way you can look back
and see the foreshadowing?
isn't it funny the way we've always been who we are
from the very beginning
and we never really change from that?
isn't it terrifying to realize that our flaws are bone deep
and not just cosmetic?
when i was young i fell in love with everything
and every stuffed animal i owned slept in bed with me
because i couldn't bear to hurt their feelings
i used to think i could see the future
and maybe i could
