I like to pretend
I don't know what i'm doing
that's easier
than admitting that what i'm doing
is not enough
is not anything.
I love you
but you're so bad for me
and i am so bad for you
And i am so tired
i'm so tired baby.
i'm so sick
of being sick
and so tired
of pretending it's okay
it's not
i'm not okay
i'm not
but how do i say that
without feeling the guilt
without telling you you're fucking wrong
when you say it'll be okay
it's not okay
it's never okay
i am so tired
i am so tired
i don't know what to do
i know what i want to do
i want to run away
to turn away from you
i want to be somebody else
i want to be away from you
toxic
everything feels so toxic
the air i breathe
the food i eat
the words i hear
everything i cant help but fear
it feels like poison
dripping down my throat
like any minute
i'm going to drop dead
any minute
i'm going to see red
and be gone
and never come back
and i tell myself
i don't know what i'm doing
but i do know what i'm doing
i'm killing myself
just like i said i would do
except not with a knife
or pills
or a gun
i'm killing myself
and i'm using you
and that's not fair
you're not a killer
you're a human being
and i want you
to want me
to use as an excuse
to say i can't leave
i'm living in a house of poison
because i want to die
deep inside
i want to die
and i am
and i will
somebody save me
from myself
i'm falling down
further and further
somebody save me
save me
