there is a little person inside me
who punches the wall
who screams at the ceiling
to just end it all
she is angry
she is upset
she feels abandoned
and unkept
she feels like this life
is not hers
like she's living for somebody else
the days come and go in blurs
she daydreams
about the way it could be
if she had the self respect
to just fucking leave
if she had the confidence
the will
to say i will not
stand still
and watch my life
fall to pieces
so she breathes in deep
and then releases
the most pitiful scream
and she laughs
as she cries
i want to die
i want to die
and the only person
who can hear her
ignores her
stores her
says shut the fuck up
and scolds her
she beats her
black and blue
with the only thing
she can use
she puffs the smoke
and pops the pills
like it's all a joke
like it doesn't matter
and she smiles.
she smiles.
and it kills her inside
like twisting the knife
in an infected wound
and her world turns blue
and it stays that way
for days and days
and she thinks a gun
might make her numb
the way the drugs don't anymore
the only way she wants to feel anymore
and the little person
sits in silence
in exhaust
she sits back
flicks a match
and sets fire to a cross
and says fuck those who believe
in hope
and light
and anything
she says fuck you
and fuck me
she's burning
and she burns and burns
until she's nothing
but a flame
of pain and despair
and she grows and grows
and consumes her captor
until there is no smile
no laughter
and that's who i am now
a girl made of fire
burned alive
charred and tired
the voice of reason
is gone and dead
so i burn in place
and i live my life
with a masked face
and a hazy head
