stay.
what will it take to stay?
don't make me go away.
for the first time
in so long
i feel empty
the sensation is familiar
the apathy is comforting
and of anger i have plenty
to break things down
i'll write down words
but honestly
the truth just hurts
i'm tired of feeling crazy
and like i'm asking for too much
i'm tired of being the bad guy
for wanting to be in touch
i want to feel love
and to have my love reciprocated
i want you to be enough
i want to be appreciated
i don't want to put you first
just to always come in second
i don't want to lose this love
but, god, i can't keep begging
but fuck i guess i can
because i never can just leave
i always stay by you
opportunity after opportunity
will it make me happy
or will it break my heart
can our love be fixed
or should love be this hard?
do i keep on fighting
for you to lift one finger
or should i just say fuck it
and pull the god damn trigger
it makes me guilty
to write it down
over and over again
it makes me guilty
to have this thought
to feel like it's pretend
i love you
I LOVE YOU
but, again, is it enough?
am i weak minded?
selfish?
bad for giving up?
love is the enemy here
that made me betray myself
love is the two way mirror
that showed what i can't help
it seems you show me love
when you want to fuck
most would call that manipulation
instead you call it luck
vulnerability
will be the death of me
you sense when i am bare
and that's when you are there
to peel the baggage off my body
you say i carried all that day
to light the candles into ease
before you put me on my knees
before i have you begging please
and that is all you need
to stay.
