Chapter 9. Breathless

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There is hinted content that pertains to emotional abuse/domestic violence, as well as themes about anxiety and mental health. Please do not read any further if these topics are sensitive to you.

 Please do not read any further if these topics are sensitive to you

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⊰ ♔ • • • • • • • .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ . • • • • • • • ♔ ⊱

Wooyoung is scared. Not scared in the way you'd be if you were watching a horror movie or trekking through a haunted house. He's scared of the aftermath, the inevitable future that awaits him in just a few short hours. Everything was about to change, but he can't tell if it was for the better or for worse. He had spent an agonizing amount of time talking to Seonghwa last night about all of this, to which the elder had continued to assure that he would be alright.

Which, now that Wooyoung thinks about it, is a bit useless to try and tell someone with anxiety that things would end up fine, when all someone can do is think about things they can't control. Wooyoung didn't mind, though, he rather appreciated Seonghwa walking him through his complex emotions when he had felt too blind to see any of it with a clear headspace to begin with.

But even more so, the only thing he can really think about is San. The words he had said last night left Wooyoung a flustered mess. It was a simple, platonic, friendly thing to say, surely. But it left Wooyoung truly lost for words. You make me really happy, Wooyoung. More than you'll ever know. Wooyoung didn't know how to respond, he just really felt like he could've cried. But, out of shame and a slight hint of embarrassment, he chose not to cry, and simply said, "you make me happy, too."

Wooyoung then came to terms with what his feelings meant. After a week of feeling something new, something warm and confusing, he finally realized that he truly had developed feelings for San and there was nothing he could do about denying them any longer.

In the past, Wooyoung had hardly ever allowed himself to feel anything stronger for the people he's slept with. They were all one-time things, but Wooyoung knew what he was getting himself into. He was crazy and wild back then, freshly turned twenty-one with a drive to drink himself numb every weekend before he realized how easy it was to convince other men to buy him drinks. Yeosang, his demonic side-kick, always managed to convince him to talk to an absurd amount of men while out at the club, batting his eyelashes and flirting like the malicious tease he was, earning round after round of shots from a stranger's wallet. Yeosang picked up on this habit too, which resulted in the trio hardly ever having to buy their own drinks. Seonghwa tried to discourage this behavior, but he hardly could ever deter the two from doing what they wanted.

The one time Wooyoung allowed himself to feel something more than lust was when he had met Yeonjun. The male was ridiculously attractive and witty, everything that Wooyoung had desired to have to himself. His hair was short, freshly dyed black, accented with fox-like eyes and a slim build, but Wooyoung's favorite thing about the male was how endearing he could be. Even if he was a seductive siren, his voice was melodic and deep, pulling Wooyoung under his spell so easily. After one sexual encounter in the summer when Wooyoung was twenty-two, they quickly met back up and ended up panting against one another with their clothes littering the floor.

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