| UNREQUITED LOVE |

CHAPTER 19- 2023

We were the senior most batch in school. My results were disappointing as I expected. This year came with more challenges and frustration. I saw the love of my life moving on with another girl. He came like a gust of wind giving me a momentary satisfaction and then destruction.

10th February, 2023

My phone rang thrice and I picked up
Sebastian- "I don't know you know about this or not but Raymond is in a relationship."
(Instantly tears fell from my eyes, I remained silent and he continued.)
"Her name is Athena Morris. She is in tenth grade now. I know that you'll eventually get to know but I thought it would be better if you prepare your mind first, before watching them infront of you. So..."
Rosalind- "Yeah. You're right. Can I call you later?"
Sebastian- "Sure. Call me whenever you'll be ready to talk."

I cried, a lot. I cried so much that I couldn't breathe and Sebastian had to come over to make sure that I didn't die out of suffocation. He took care of me the whole time. That's what he's been doing since childhood.

"I have gone through this phase which you are going through now. You cannot get back what's gone but you will get someone who would truly love you and you'll eventually love him too. Start accepting. It'll be hard but you're gonna get through sooner or later. Moreover, this is a crucial year. I don't want you to hamper your academics."
Sebastian tried to comfort me with his words.
I replied, "I can't ever get over him. He is something that has never happened to me before. You took his name and my heart started to pump faster. His thoughts are making me crazy."
He said, "But you're just 17. You cannot decide what happens to you now or not. There's a whole life ahead of you which might bring you many more heartbreaks but you'll also find your real love at the end. Don't mess with you mind and body like this."

He always spoke for me, advised me and helped me. But I spoiled myself, unable to bear his loss.

20th April, 2023

"Oops! Wh-who a-a-are you? Oh Se-Seba-Sebs...aww you look so cute. You....you..."
"Ross? Today is your birthday and your whole body stinks with alcohol. Where are you coming from right now? Dammit Ross, it's 11 p.m. "
"Shutth up you stu-stupid g-g-guy. Call my boyfriend right now. H-he will break y-o-your limbs ."
"You're totally waisted! I guess I need to shift to your right now."
(Sebastian picked me up in his arms)
"Whoa whoa! You-yours arms are soooo st-stronggg. Come on kiss me."
"Keep your mouth shut Rosalind."
"Oookaaayyyy honeyyy."

The next morning when I woke up, I saw Sebastian was sitting beside me.
"Why are you bere Sebastian? What's wrong?
"Seriously Rosalind. Last night you were drunk as hell. I picked you up and brought you home and told your mother that you became senseless due to massive headache. You'll be okay by morning."
"Oh I'm sorry for troubling you."
"Shut up. When did you start all these?"
"Cool okay! I just went in a bar to celebrate my birthday, alone."
"Okay. Keep this in control. Next time just leave me a text whenever you'll go somewhere. I'm leaving now. Take care."

I promised him that I would be in control but I couldn't. It wasn't limited to alcohol, I start drugs. Everyday I used leave early and came late at night. I was sparred by the excuse of coaching classes. Actually, I went for drinking and came back in a horrible condition at night. I tried to keep these things hidden from Sebastian but few months later he came over at my place.

Sebastian angrily banged the door and came inside my room, "I thought you would limit it to alcohol, but drugs? Really Rosalind? You went this far!"
"Why Sebs, you also did, didn't you?"
"I don't want you to make the same mistake I did. That's why I keep on telling you but you don't listen. You never listen."
I cried out a scream and said, "Do you know how much it hurts me to see them together? Do you know how many times I have wanted to snatch him? Do you know how many times I was senseless by consuming too much alcohol so I could spend atleast a moment not being in pain?"
"Oh Ross! I'm sorry. I know. I can understand but I can't see you like this. Destroying yourself, tearing yourself apart. All these whatever you are doing will increase your grief, not relief you."
"Then tell me Sebastian, tell me how to carry these. How to bear this, how can I accept this? I laid numb days after days just to escape from the reality. My reality, it hurts."
"Rosalind, tell me one thing, you've loved a person so much but have you ever received real love and care from anyone?"
I burst out in tears and said in a shaky voice, "No one has ever asked me this. Family broke me first, and then there were these. No one knows the battle I've been fighting since I was a child. I may have never received love but I loved my heart out."
"I'm there. I'm there to help you, support you, love and care for you. Just don't destroy yourself like this. It breaks me too."
The rest of the day he stayed with me at my house. He hugged me to comfort me, talked the whole to take my mind of from the remorse and pain I was feeling deeply.

This year is also about to end but the courage it took me to get out of bed each morning to face the same things all over again, was enormous. I didn't get to say the final goodbye. I wanted to hug him for one last time when he walked past me, on our last day of school life together, with a smile on his face and I still kept staring at him.

*She loved him so much without even herself realising it before. Love is really the seventh sense which actually destroys our six senses.🙂*