The Shelby Princess

21

There was certainly an aray of different things in Charlotte's life that confused her, for example the fact that she was strangely allergic to strawberries but nothing strawberry flavoured, how she can't fall asleep in dead silence and never had been able to, how both her and Jordan shared the same shade of green eyes when both of their parents held brown eyes and lastly how she seemingly had been unable to release herself from the hold Thomas Shelby had on her. The hold so strong it captivated her for over a decade, the hold so strong that two years away from him hadn't even chipped or lifted the colossal restraints he had on her. Yes, time away may have disguised the heavy weight and created an illusion that it had become significantly lighter. Delusion was all that was.
Because Tommy Shelby returns like autumn and Charlotte falls every-time.

As expected,Charlotte found herself contradicting and rethinking all that she had done these past couple of weeks. Returning back to Small Heath was like opening many minuscule old wounds, that all together felt extremely overwhelming as they hit her all at once. Small Heath in general opened up a particular wound that she had successfully patched up over the years, suppressing and blissfully forgetting the significance the city once had on her. However this certainly stung to re-open because it wasn't just a memory it was her whole life, and even returning for a couple weeks made her question how she went so long away from it. It was home. An ignorant mistake Charlotte had made was holding small heath higher then London, when she first returned to small heath London was her home and that was final. However now, circumstances had changed and naturally she felt as if London was when she was away from home this time, vice versa. The problem with this was it meant it opened up her old life, and all of it. Small heath and her old life came hand in hand with one person and one person only,tommy. Revisiting her old life, was opening herself back up to the main part of it and that she couldn't do,no matter how much she desired to.

One thing she had told herself was that maybe, just maybe she didn't really desire her past relationship and what they used to have but instead she only felt this way because here in small heath, a life with tommy was all she had known. So maybe just possibly, being in this environment fooled her into believing it was what she wanted, when really it wasn't. Although even this thought alone made her feel pathetic, of course this wasn't the case regardless if she wishes with all her being that it was, it was not. Tommy Shelby still made her feel how he always had done even if the feeling was bloody unwanted.

What did confuse her though, was that she did feel the familiar sense of heartbreak after what had happened with Stanley, albeit it wasn't anywhere near comparable to her first heartbreak it still hurt. If she still felt that way for Tommy how is she heartbroken at the thought of the loss of another?
Charlotte was aware that she wasn't in love with Stanley, but undeniably had love for him. Don't get her wrong, she thought she was in love at the time but of course tommy worked his magic and solely by his presence reminded her of the love they shared and quite frankly she didn't feel an inch what she felt for tommy, for stan. However, he was there for her when Tommy wasn't and if she felt comfortable to be in another relationship after her previous one, that to put it lightly fucked her up, then he must of been special. Although once again she could easily contradict herself, if he loved me why would he hurt me?
Yes, Tommy had hurt Charlotte, and awfully. However internally solely, she was just as aware as the next person that he would never lay a hand on her, no matter what anger consumed him.
God was she confused, and blimey does she bloody well pick 'em.

Now, she locked up her home in small heath swallowing her desire to fuck everything else and stay where she was,home. However her better nature overrules all, she has things to do and a life to live in London now. So clearing her throat as if to disregard all her thoughts she made her way over to the betting shop to bid her goodbyes to the Shelby's.
"Good morning Miss Windsor" a man addressed her, polite fully bowing his head as he did so. "good morning" she smiled in return glancing down to a girl who shyly stood behind her father's leg. "um- miss Windsor this is my daughter, she's been banging on about you since she saw you at the pictures" he nervously chuckled as he spoke. "please call me charlotte" she smiled before turning her attention towards the girl who was no older then eleven.
"Frances?" charlotte tilted her head at the familiar girl. "yes!" she eagerly nodded in excitement "i told you Charlotte would remember you" her father added as charlotte only smiled wider. "you were a lot smaller last time i saw you" charlotte laughed as the girl flushed a deep red, still clinging on her father. "how is your wife?" charlotte innocently questioned, now recognising the family. Although she soon regretted doing so as the man's face dropped almost instantly. "oh um we lost her last year,consumption" he nodded, swallowing his emotions. "oh i'm so sorry to hear that, i hope you and your family are doing okay" she sincerely smiled before kneeling down to the small girl. "Frances how would you like a girls day when i return to small heath, we could go to the markets?" charlotte propositioned, watching as the young girls face lit up glancing up towards her father who nodded with a smile on his face. "yes please!" she widely smiled, riddled with excitement. Hugging the young girl, all attention was turnt to a heavy slamming of a door just down the road, revealing two of the Shelby brothers.
"Dolly!" Arthur bellowed towards the girl, who instantly caught on to the man's tense behaviour beside her. "Well thank you so much, and i'm so sorry to hear about your wife" she smiled, eager to let the worried man be. "She's conversing with the fans Arthur" john added in an over the top toff accent, earning a hearty laugh from Arthur and a playful eye roll from Charlotte as she made her way over to the pair. "Shut it you" she laughed as john pulled her into his arms. "can 'ave a laugh with me best-mate can't i?" john chuckled "or is that not a thing with celebrities?" he added, finding winding her up rather amusing. Playfully pushing his shoulder she let out a genuine laugh at his banter. "i'm still same old me john boy" she shrugged with a smile on her face.
"i've missed that smile on you dolly" Arthur nodded, glancing to john who agreed. "well i'm sorry to break it to you, but i'm off back to London" Charlotte bit her lip, however still holding a smile on her pretty face.
"can you not just come home for good Lottie?" john questioned, a small frown on his face. "i work in London now johnny boy" she shrugged, her smile now morphing into a saddened one.
"we can sort that out" Arthur protested "yeah get curly to take ya" john shrugged once again.
"in an ideal world" she chuckled, fighting her own urges to stay home.
"can you atleast come back for the garrison reopening lotts?" john bargained once more "that i can do" charlotte replied, an amused smile on her face. "yeah me new pub dolly, your gonna love it" arthur smiled proudly.
"yeah it'll be suited for a hollywood sensation" john spoke once again in a toff accent, earning a round of laughter as charlotte playfully pushed him once more. "right i'm off to say goodbye to pol, your doing my head in" she chuckled as she hugged the pair goodbye. "we love ya Lottie" " i love you too now fuck off!" she laughed, stepping into the betting shop as the brother's continued as they was, also laughing as they descended away from the shop.