Rolling fake dice

e m r y s

I could've spent forever with your hands in my pockets

Picture of your face in an invisible locket

You said there was nothing in the world that could stop it

I had a bad feeling

Dancing with our hands tied - Taylor Swift

It is already difficult for me to get my mind away from Sierra, but it's even harder when she misses a whole day of classes suddenly. She never skipped classes unless it's a planned escape with Ray.

Class was so empty without her, almost lifeless, minutes stretched to centuries, and even the slightest of sounds turned extremely frustrating, the lightest laughter turned into hollow sounds. Like the sun has drifted away from Lowell High with her absence.

I contemplated asking Ray about her, but she seemed as puzzled as I was, almost lost without the brightest piece in her. No jabs at me for the day, no secret glances, and definitely no one to dare and oppose me when she was gone, which only made my day worse.

I haven't gotten the chance to see her when she visited our home, yesterday, since I was stuck in the training session we had with coach Turner for our next game of the season; a real life nightmare if you ask me.

I sit at my usual desk, where Noah and I have been sitting ever since the beginning of the school year, and yet, I can't help but feel her burning stare from behind me.

I saw her coming to school this morning, the rich brown waves of her hair gathered in her usual French braid, a few strands of it rebelled out of it, a detail that has mesmerized me for the longest time. I wonder what meaning it holds for her to never keep it loose like most of our classmates, or just hold it with a hair tie in a ponytail. Sometimes, I believe that the school's uniform was made to suit her, the shirt and skirt cling perfectly to her curves, the blue of the jacket makes the rich soil's color of her hair pop out like a river of chocolate. I wonder what would happen, if I grab her from that black tie, pull her closer to me, claim those full, pink lips of her in a satisfying kiss, my hands trailing down to-

Damn you, Emrys, can't you focus for fucking second.

I stop my inappropriate fantasies in the middle, and I bet that heat is crawling up to my cheeks from the not so innocent view I was about to imagine.

Noah's attention solely focused on the thick book resting on the table. He looks focused, too focused, like he's been taken far away, to another universe away from the mess we're living in.

I have heard Sierra Lynn once say to the literature teacher that a reader lives a thousand lives, and those words have been haunting me in the deepest sense of the word. I sometimes think that reading is what makes Sierra and Noah so... themselves. Borderline daydreamers, with wide imagination and a good use for words and poetry, and I believe that their mutual love for books is what makes them... connected in some sort, two faces of the same coin.

"I've read that one before." Sierra's voice catches me by surprise. Noah's attention shifts from the book to her, turning slightly.

I take a glance at the black cover 'The portrait of Dorian Gray' by Oscar Wilde. My best friend raises his eyebrows "You did ?" He asks. Sierra nods and flashes a smile at him, totally ignoring me as if I don't exist, like I'm a damn wall. An ardent fire starts burning within my chest, and I clear my throat "Good morning to you too, Ryder. Or have you lost your manners in the span of twenty-four hours ?"

I see a flash of painful recognition in her eyes, her lips pursed in a thin line, Noah nudges my knee from under the table, sparing a glare at my rude comment, I realize my mistake and try to join the conversation "I watched the two thousand nine movie."

"Ben Barnes played in it..." Her eyes light up again, and if there is a way to take that spark, keep it hidden and stare at it every night to sleep, I would've done it.

I nod my head in approval, breathing in and out.

Don't fall into that trap, Emrys. Don't.

I cannot, however, help myself not to stare at the sensuous curve of her lips, the small grin tugging at them.

"I didn't take you for a cinephile, Lennox." She teased

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me, Seren." I retort. Earning a scoff fro; her "Yeah, sure thing, Hades."

"Well, look at who's having a proper conversation." My sister's voice sing-songs as she takes her seat besides Seren's "See? It's not that difficult."

"I'd go and say that it's almost natural." Noah clicks his tongue in amusement. I point him with a glare that is supposed to shut him up, it only widens his wicked grin " I could get used to it..." He finishes "You, Esme?"

"Fuck yeah..." Ray grins wide, so so wide that it seems like she hadn't drunk herself to sleep last night, thinking that no one noticed, thinking that no one cared.

Many people care actually...

"Math is gonna start, you nosy assholes" I scowl at both of them, Sierra, her, seems uninterested at the conversation, leaning back into her chair.

God give me patience...