Complications

Chapter 16 - Studying

My whole day would usually be taken up by studying, preparing myself for the mocks.

My routine had become repetitive and monotonous.

During weekdays, I would wake up in the morning, get ready for school, then study in school, pay attention and make notes, come home and have lunch, sleep for a while, get up and study. Then, study. After that, study. Finally, study some more. I would go to sleep around 11pm, which didn't work out because it would take my brain half an hour to cool down from all the tension, then I would think about things other than studying, and my upcoming birthday, five days before the mocks would start. It would only be by 1am, when I would finally get tired of thinking, and go to sleep.

During weekends, I would take a break time to time but studying was my main motive. I knew I had to do well in my mocks to be able to perform better in my boards.

At times, I would randomly remember the things Damian used to say during our conversations that would make me laugh so much, and I would end up smiling while laying on my bed. Sometimes those memories would flash past me while I would have dinner with my parents, and I would laugh out of nowhere. I'm pretty sure my parents thought I was going crazy because everytime I did that, they would ask, "honey, are you okay?" I would just say I'm fine and that I remembered something but I am pretty sure that they thought there was something wrong with me.

I didn't know why I kept thinking about Damian but I guess I just wanted to know why he stopped talking to us all of a sudden.

For Zaine, it was obvious he didn't want things between him, me, Ness and even Gia to be the way it was before, but he would still spend time with Damian. I really wanted to ask why it was that why, there were so many questions that made me wonder why things were the way they were.

My 18th birthday was going to be in 3 days, but it didn't feel right to not invite Damian and Zaine. So, I did send them an invitation. I had invited them both even when we didn't speak in school the way we did before, but I wasn't expecting them to say yes either.

There could be many reasons why they would decline the invitation, but somehow, I still kept a little hope, thinking that maybe things might become calmer if we met up, and even if my birthday might not be the best time to do so, I was okay with it if it could clear things between us.

But of course, why did I even keep that little hope?

They declined the invitation.

It's okay though. That's what I kept saying to myself, because why should it matter?

In three days, I would be celebrating my birthday and I didn't need to worry about anything else, and I assured myself that even if it was my '18th' and that it was a very special day for me, I had the two very important people with me other than my family, Nessira and Gia.

I know I would enjoy because they always make me feel complete.

"Like my pieces of heart that I couldn't balance my life without."