loser *ೃ༄ miya atsumu x reader

romanesco

so prank wars had been called off cuz you'd pretended to die with fake blood and all which was atsumu's idea completely. apparently it was a bad prank.

osamu cried (suna was recording)

then he yelled at the two of you for half an hour straight (suna was recording)

currently, the four of you sat on the couch talking about random things while divergent played on the tv.

nobody was really paying attention to the movie, well other than you cuz theo james 🤌

"guys if you had to cut off a finger, which one would it NOT be?" suna asked everyone, finally looking up from his phone.

"oh you finally decided to stop replaying samu's crying video?" atsumu snorted as osamu sat with a small pout which was only visible if you squinted.

"i was starting to think you were getting off to it" you said and suna gave you a look.

"just answer the question" he rolled his eyes.

"thumb counts?" you asked

"no"

atsumu answered first, "probably the pinky finger cuz how would i pretend to be an old english lady drinking tea if i can't stick my pinky out?"

osamu finally spoke next, glad to hear something other than the sounds of his crying coming from suna's phone and christina's yapping from the tv.

"well you need the pinky cuz its a fact that 50% of your hand strength is a direct result of having a pinky. it's got a little extra muscle to help increase dexterity, and it directly opposes the thumb, so gripping and grabbing are made a ton easier with it"

the other three sat in silence, trying to process how the hell he memorised a reddit post, then the boys looked at you for your answer.

you mumbled something and atsumu, who was sitting closest to you squinted, "huh? what'd you say?"

so you spoke louder, "middle finger cuz i gotta flip people off"

"okay next question, if you had to be a vegetable what vegetable would you be and why" suna asked.

atsumu sat up and cleared his throat.

"allow me to answer for everybody, suna would be asparagus cuz it looks like him, samu would be a fiddlehead cuz it sounds fucking stupid and y/n would be a cherry tomato. no explanation needed" he smiled.

"and what about you?" you raised an eyebrow at him.

"i'd be a romanesco cuz it's cool, just like me" he smugly stated.

"do you even know what a romanesco is?" osamu scoffed.

"no he doesn't, he just overheard gin call akari a romanesco lookin ass the other day" you added unhelpfully.

atsumu scowled at you, "i gave you a cute vegetable and this is how you repay me?"

"it eez what it eez" you shrugged and turned back to the tv cuz the part where four takes tris through his fear simulation was on.

"okay shut up, if animals could talk, which would be the rudest?" suna asked.

"are you reading these off reddit?"

"pinterest"

"since when do you have pinterest" you raised an eyebrow.

"since the day you bullied me for asking if its a money transfer app"

"oh"

"in my defence, it sounds like a money transfer app"

"oh"

"yeah, now answer my question"

osamu answered, "a screaming hairy armadillo"

"what the fuck is a screaming hairy armadillo?" atsumu asked.

"you when mom tries to wake you up in the morning"

"fuck off you wonderpus" atsumu glared at him.

osamu stuck his tongue out, "lumpsucker"

atsumu promptly retorted, "tasselled wobbegong"

"cockchafer"

"pleasing fungus beetle"

"satanic leaf gecko"

"dik dik"

you interjected, "hey dik diks are cute"

the twins looked at you for 3 seconds before they went back to their bickering, they started insulting the bacteria fam too this time.

"salmonella"

"corona virus"

[tb to cardi b]

"rabies"

"HIV"

"planaria"

you were moving your head back and forth between them like a tennis match.

suna got up from his seat and plopped down next to you, grabbing your head to stop you from moving.

"they're just reading these off google now, let's get out of here" he whispered in your ear.

you looked at the twins, they were now standing on the couch, pointing at each other and yelling.

"BONE EATING SNOT FLOWER WORM"

"TUFTED TITMOUSE"

you nodded at suna and the two of you snuck out of the room without either of the twins noticing.

desi weddings are too good

also HELP this book has no plot no nothing and idk what to do with it atp it's just a bunch of fillers how do i end it 😭