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★ { Kailyn } Breathing in Your Blues

CLIENT: Mia550401

REVIEWER: Kailucy

Cover: 6/10

The cover is bland. The silhouettes are a nice choice and I like that "blues " is written in blue but the fonts could be better. Overall the cover isn't really eye-catching.

Title: 9/10

I do like the title. It has a decent flow and made me curious to see what it was going to be about.

Blurb: 8/10

The blurb is okay. It introduces the main character and conflict. There are some errors though. In the first paragraph, it would make more sense if "On the contrary, they realize they have a lot more in common than..." There are also some spacing issues. Other than that it's alright. I do feel like it's a bit long and some sentences I don't think are necessary.

Characters: 8/10

The characters are okay. Right now I'm not super attached to them and don't really care much for them yet but your story is just starting so it's alright. You wrote the rivalry between Maya and Priyansh was believable and it was interesting to see it play out.

Plot: 18/20

The plot is fun and fast-paced. It's not my usual read but it was a fun change and I did enjoy it more than I thought I would. I'm excited to see where you will take this.

Writing style: 18/20

Your writing style is addictive and easy to read. There are some errors with spacing but other than that I think it's good. You don't need to specify that it's a memory. Just having the italics is enough.

The descriptions are perfectly placed making everything easy to imagine. The dialogue flows and feels realistic. I really loved the paragraph on coincidences in Chapter three.

Grammar/spelling/vocabulary: 7/10

There were quite a few errors. I made several notes of them for chapter one.

"The class resumed their murmuring" would make more sense than "The class murmur resumed"

"Quiet class!"

"I don't know whether..."

There were some more but I didn't write everything down. The main things to look for are spelling and formatting. But there were a few moments where the tense changed. It's definitely not terrible but it's also a good idea to do some editing or seeing if you can find someone who wouldn't mind helping.

Enjoyment: 9/10

I did enjoy this quite a bit. The characters especially were interesting and kept me reading.

Overall: 83/100

Overall, I think you're off to a great start. The main thing dragging it down is spelling mistakes otherwise everything is good. Keep writing!